(My parents are considering moving. We are driving to a relative’s house for Thanksgiving, who just so happens to have his house up for sale.)

Dad: “These houses are really close together. I don’t like it.”

Sister: “It would be great for the zombie apocalypse. Just put boards across the roofs and you’re safe.”

Me: “What if the zombies are sentient?”

Sister: “It would take them a while to build something. You could get away.”

Me: “What if they were zombie cheerleaders and they made a human… zombie pyramid?”

Sister: “…”

Mom: “Give me an aaaaaaauuugggghhhh.”

(My sister and I are in the car, bored and playing ‘rock, not paper, probably not scissors.’ Basically, we take random objects and decide who wins from there. We get distracted by a cloud…)

Me: “Hmm… doesn’t that cloud look like a very typical cloud?”

Sister: “It does.” *to the cloud* “You should be ashamed of yourself for being so typical. You should be out of the ordinary!”

(My dad begins to laugh. My sister continues on a slight rant about the one cloud, and I begin to laugh.)

Dad: “Well, it kinda looks like a sphinx with a dog head wearing a powdered wig.”

Sister: “Oh, yeah, I see it now.”

Me: “I think it looks like our dog when he’s lying down. See the area of fluff behind the head?”

Sister: “Huh.”

(We continue our game until we spot a cloud that looks like an ‘S.’)

Sister: “That cloud looks like an ‘S!'”

Me: “So it does.”

Dad: “Huh.”

Mom: “It could be a ‘5.’”

Me: “Or an upside down ‘S.'”

Dad: “Or a stylized snake…”

(While driving, my little sister, my mom, and I see a police car.)

Five-Year-Old Sister: “Mommy, would the policeman put me in jail if I didn’t wear my seatbelt?

Mom: “No, because it would be my fault. Adults are responsible for things like that.”

Five-Year-Old Sister: “So, the policeman would put YOU in jail?”

Me: *with a completely serious face* “Yes, sister. The policeman would put mom in jail for 30 YEARS. You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you”

(My sister looked completely shocked while my mom tried her very best not to laugh.)

Grandmother: “So what did you learn in school today?”

Me: “We watched a movie about Gandhi in history class.”

Grandmother: “Gandhi? Wasn’t he that warlord in Night at the Museum?”

Me: “…that’s Genghis Khan.”

Grandmother: “Oh…”

Me: “They’re not even remotely alike! How do you even get those two mixed up?”

Grandmother: “They both start with ‘G’ and were in movies?”

Me: “So was Gandalf, but you don’t see anyone confusing them!”

(My mother and I are driving down to pick up my sister. There is a truck in front of us with a fairly large sticker or magnet on the back.)

Mom: “Is that a Pokémon on the back of that truck?”

Me: *looks over at it* “No, mom, that’s Bowser.”

Mom: “…”

Me: “From Mario? Kidnaps Princess Peach?”

Mom: “Well, I knew it was somebody.”

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