It’s Not The Dressing That Needs Addressing

, , , , | Right | January 12, 2018

(I am the assistant manager at a local restaurant, and I hear this exchange between a customer and one of my servers.)

Server: “How is everything?”

Customer: “I don’t like my salad.”

Server: “I’m sorry. What is it about the salad you don’t like?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t like kale.”

(The customer ordered a kale and beet salad, which is mostly kale, as described on the menu.)

Come Out With The Weirdest Stuff

, , , , | Related | June 12, 2017

Back when I was 18 or 19, I went to visit my Opa (it’s German for grandfather).

Whenever I used the word “stuff,” he’d admonish me, and say that I should use “things” instead.

One evening as we finished dinner, I leaned back, patted my stomach, and said,

“That was good, but man, am I thinged.”

I absolutely deserved the smack upside the head I got.