Sounds Like You Just Got A Cool New Nickname!

In around 2011, one of my good friends was getting rid of his piano. It was a full-sized weighted keyboard that he was getting rid of to make room for the MIDI equivalent so he could use it on his computer to compose music.

As I was the only one in our friend group with experience selling things online, I created the post under my own information, and as offers and things came in I shared them with my friend who owned the piano.

It didn’t take long for the scammers to start replying. They came at us with all kinds of flavors of scam. “We’ll money order you the money plus $500 extra for the guy picking it up.” “We’ll send our mover with a check for the amount plus some extra.” “We will trade you for an equivalent in [Random Store] gift cards.”

Of course, each of these replies only ever referred to the piano as “the item” or “the furniture” and never by name, so I could tell someone was just canvasing the website and shooting out these scam messages.

Finally, I had enough and replied to one of the scammers.

Scammer: “Hello, I am interested in your item. Is it still available?”

Me: “Yes, it is available.”

Scammer: “Agreeable. We would like to extend an offer of $500 plus an extra $500 given upon receipt of the item.”

Me: “That is more than double our listing price. How generous of you!”

Scammer: “We would like to meet you soon; please provide a location for pickup. The driver will pay via check to be used at any bank to receive payment.”

Me: “For sure. We can meet at [address for the local police station] any time you want.”

Scammer: “I work late and will meet you at 2300 hours.”

Me: “All right, see you then.”

Obviously, I didn’t go anywhere, having much more fun trying to convince my friend to take the trade offer of a professional soft-serve ice cream machine out of a restaurant that was shut down.

The next day, I got this message.

Scammer: “You f*** f*** guy, you.”

I legitimately didn’t know who this was because they used a different name and totally different contact information.

Me: “Sorry, who is this?”

Scammer: “Who is this? Who you think, you f*** f*** guy, you! F*** your mother, you f*** f*** guy. You think you’re funny?”

Me: “Yes.”

Scammer: “F*** you! You waste time, f*** f*** guy, you f*** guy.”

Me: “Is that the only swear word you know? This is getting kind of boring.”

Scammer: “You owe me money! I meet you, I get money from you.”

I proceeded to tear into this man, more than likely teaching him several new swear words as I told him exactly where he could shove his driver, truck, and checks.

All of the scam contacts stopped — literally all of them.

Without all the scam messages getting pushed through, I noticed that I had missed a legitimate offer and got in contact with the woman that had made it. We closed the deal and sold the piano that day.

We should have gotten the ice cream machine, though. It was such a good deal.