Sometimes They Are Right, And It Comes With Age

, , , | Right | January 3, 2020

Me: “Hi, I would like a pack of [Cigarette Brand], please.”

Cashier: “May I see some ID?”

(This is where I have my “oh, crap” moment. While I am definitely old enough to purchase tobacco, earlier in the day I renewed my driver’s license, which means that I had to surrender my photo ID. I do have an interim copy of my license on paper, but the print clearly indicates that I cannot use it as identification.)

Me: “Aw, geez, my bad. I totally forgot my ID.”

Cashier: “Oh, sure, you did.”

(The cashier’s reply is teeming with sarcasm. I imagine at this point, she is assuming I’m an underage teenager trying to pull a fast one on her.)

Me: “Looks like I’ll have to go home to get it. I’ll be right back!”

Cashier: “Okay, whatever you say, sweetie!”

(I really don’t like it when people don’t believe me, AND I want to buy cigarettes, so I actually go home and then return to the same convenience store.)

Me: “Hello again. I’d like a pack of [Cigarette Brand], and I brought ID this time!”

(I present her my current and valid passport, which is pretty d*** ironclad when it comes to identification.)

Cashier: *laughing* “Okay, you win this round. You are literally the first person I’ve ever met to use the ‘I left my ID at home’ excuse who was actually able to back it up!”

(Moral of the story: carry a second piece of ID if you’re going to renew your driver’s license, or quit smoking altogether!)

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