She Ate Both Starters, Didn’t She?

I meet a woman at a restaurant for a second date. It’s early days and things are still nervous but exciting.

We talk for a bit and then order starters. They take a long time to come and then arrive just as I stand up to use the bathroom. I apologise and tell my date that I will be right back.

After a very short queue, I return to find the table being cleared of food.

Me: “What happened to the starters?”

Woman: “Oh, err, yes, I… I had mine, but yours looked terrible so I asked them to take it back.”

Me: “Err, okay.”

Woman: “Don’t worry; they said the mains wouldn’t be long.”

We talk some more until the mains arrive. Mine is delicious, but she doesn’t like hers. She pouts until I offer to share mine. She takes near half!

Still hungry, I order a dessert.

Woman: “Oh, that was lovely. What did you have again? Can I try it?”

Me: “Sorry, mine was so good that I finished it.”

I made sure of it.

Woman: *Abruptly* “Okay, shall we get the bill? I have work in the morning.”

Me: “Sure.”

She waits until the bill arrives.

Woman: “Thank you for treating me.”

Oh, I see.

Me: “Oh, it was a treat for me, too. Thanks for offering to pay half.”

Woman: “But I didn’t.”

Me: “We will split the bill, thanks.”

There was no third date. Thankfully.