Ring Me Up And Shut Me Down

(I’m grabbing a few sundries after filling my car up. The only other people in the store are a young girl at the register and a customer she’s serving. I take no interest in them until I suddenly hear the customer screaming.)

Customer: “Get me your manager, now! You’ve worked your last shift at this place, you worthless b****!”

Cashier: “I certainly will, ma’am, but I was merely—”

Customer: “No! Not another word! I am the customer; the manager will believe whatever I tell him. Now stop stalling and get him for me!”

(The cashier sighs and disappears into the back room, returning with said manager a moment later.)

Manager: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’ll say there is! This incompetent s*** rang my gum up twice and then laughed in my face when I told her to correct the error. I’m certain she rang all my other stuff up incorrectly, as well. I demand you kick her to the curb!”

Manager: “I see…” *to the cashier* “Is this true?”

Cashier: “Well, just the part about ringing up her gum twice. I apologized and fixed the error immediately.”

Customer: “Bulls***! You’re lying!”

Manager: “Could you bring the transaction up, please?”

Customer: “She’s lying! She f****** laughed in my face!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I was only smiling. I promise.”

Manager: *checking the register screen* “Hmmm, I see she did correct her error, and everything else was rung up properly.”

Customer: “FIRE HER!”

Manager: “Ma’am, may I ask you a question first? Namely, who are you?”

(She states her full name, job title, company, and the location of her office, which is a small brokerage firm in the nearby town.)

Manager: “Hmm, can’t say I’ve ever heard of them, or you. Nevertheless, let me ask you this: why should I fire this girl whom I’ve worked with for three years, has never missed a day without good reason, is always on time for her shift, and has been described by several of our regulars as one of the most courteous ladies they’ve ever met, over a simple mistake which, as I’m seeing here, she quickly corrected?”

Woman: “Wha? But… I… you… because I’m the customer!”

Manager: *nods* “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t see how that’s a valid reason to side with someone I don’t know from Adam, and thus lose a model employee whom I know to be perfectly trustworthy and respectful. Is there anything else we can help you with?”

(With that, the customer screams, shoves what’s on the counter at the manager, and storms out.)

Manager: *to the cashier* “If I believed every windbag who came in here ranting incoherently, I’d never be able to hang onto any staff. I’ll be in my office if you need me again.” *disappears into the back*

Me: *stunned* “My God. That was awesome!”

Cashier: *beaming brightly* “Whole reason why I love my job!”

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