(I am an educator at a fairly large zoo. On my break I occasionally zip a jacket up over my uniform shirt and walk around to see some of my favorite animals. It’s not required that I not wear my shirt while on break, but I like just enjoying the animals without being asked 200 times where this/that/the other is. I’m hanging out with our elephants when I overhear a father talking to his kids. He is very loud and very close to me, so I can hear very clearly what is being said.)

Father: “You see, kids, zoos only take animals that are perfect. And if an animal is too ugly or looks like it’s not out of a picture book, they kill it.”

(I have to blink a few times… I did NOT just hear that. Just as this happens one of our male elephants walks by. He happens to have very little hair on his tail so it looks bald and short.)

Father: “See! I’m surprised they kept that one alive, since he has that tail.”

(I almost have to sit down. At this point I unzip my jacket, pull out my ID, and approach him.)

Me: “Sir, I’m very sorry, but I work here and happened to overhear your conversation. I can PROMISE you that we would never, EVER kill any of our animals simply because they are ‘ugly’ or have physical abnormalities. In fact, most of the animals in our North American area are orphans, blind, crippled, or otherwise unable to survive in the wild. We actually take in a lot of animals who need help and rehabilitate them. I know many of our keepers and these animals are pretty much their children. They love them profoundly and would never, in a million years, allow one to be killed simply because they aren’t picture book perfect.”

Father: “Oh! Well, that’s so good to know! Thank you!”

(I just… I can’t. Where did that idea even COME from?!)

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(At the gas station where I work, a bunch of young, smart-mouthed customers are holding up the line, talking about how f***ed up they’re going to get that night. I call several times but they’re too busy goofing off to notice. Eventually, a large, 6’6″ and ripped middle-aged gentleman who is also waiting taps one of the young customers on his shoulder. The young customer almost mouths off to the large gentleman, but thinks better of it and turns to me.)

Young Customer: “Hey, can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

Me: “I’m gonna need to see your ID.”

Young Customer: “I’m gonna need to see YOUR ID!”

(I immediately pull out my wallet and flip it open so it’s showing my ID.)

Me: “Still gonna need to see your ID.”

Young Customer: “Look, a**hole! I’m old enough to buy alcohol and you will sell me—”

(At this moment, the large and ripped gentleman who has been patiently waiting behind walks up, pushes the smart-mouthed customer out of the way, and puts his stuff down.)

Gentleman: “Hey, can I get a pack of cigarettes?’

Me: “Not a problem, sir.”

Gentleman: *to the young customer* “THAT’S how easy it is for adults. Maybe you’ll get there someday.”

(A customer was buying some fancy wrapping paper. They placed it on the counter to buy and this exchange occurred.)

Customer: “Can you be really careful folding this up?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: “Actually, can you roll it up? And wrap a bit of tissue paper around it?”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “And can you wrap another piece of gift wrap around it?”

Me: “Er… okay.” *pause* “So you want me to gift wrap your gift wrap?”

Customer: “Precisely!”

Me: “…”

(We’ve been extremely busy in the small ER where I work. We’re completely full with people in the waiting room when an ambulance brings in a Code Blue—someone not breathing. The x-ray tech and I are standing in the nurse’s station awaiting instructions, when a patient’s relative comes up.)

Relative: “What’s going on? Why hasn’t the doctor come in to see my son? We’ve been waiting over an hour!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we have a Code Blue critical patient in and the doctor is busy.”

Relative: “Too busy to check on his patients? This is ridiculous! We haven’t even seen a nurse in 20 d*** minutes!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, like I said, everyone’s busy with the Code Blue and nobody is free at the moment.”

Relative: “This unacceptable! My son is in pain back there, and you don’t give a s***!”

(At this point, the nursing supervisor and the relative of a different patient walks up.)

Supervisor: “Ma’am? Can I help you?”

Relative: “My son is back there in pain and these two aren’t doing a thing about it! Just standing around! And the doctor hasn’t even been in to see him!”

Supervisor: “Well, ma’am, as these young ladies have told you multiple times, we have Code Blue that needs our attention right now.”

Relative: “What the f*** does that even mean?”

Another Patient’s Relative: “It means that someone is DYING, you idiot. Your son’s headache can wait a few minutes!”

(The first relative looked absolutely ashamed of herself and quickly retreated. The other patient’s relative later went on to buy some candy for all our staff as a thank you for working so hard.)

(I am working the night shift for the hospital’s IT department.)

Doctor: “Hey, I need you to delete this record. There’s no one in the bed, and we need to check a new patient into it.”

Me: “Where is the patient that the system thinks should in the bed?”

Doctor: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The patient wasn’t checked out of the hospital. Where are they?”

Doctor: “We don’t know. Not in this bed.”

Me: “I’m not going to just delete a human being who came in for treatment and apparently disappeared. Go find out what happened.”

(Apparently, the patient had been moved to a different ward of the hospital three days before, but their records had not moved with them. This patient sat in some other bed without their chart for three days. None of the hospital staff noticed.)