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Great stories from our entire backlog!

Can’t See The Forest For The Airborne Trees

, , , , | Right | October 23, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [TV Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my TV is broken.”

Me: “I’ll be glad to help you today. What is wrong with your TV?”

Customer: “The picture keeps flashing on and off.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Can I have you check the connections on the back of your TV to make sure everything is screwed in tightly?”

Customer: “Well, the lights in my house are flashing on and off too. We’re in a tornado warning. Do you think that has something to do with it?”


This story is part of our Customers Versus Mother Nature roundup!

Read the next Mother Nature roundup story!

Read the Mother Nature roundup!

Children Get Sick Periodically

, , , , , , , | Right | November 19, 2010

(A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)

Customer: “Oh, look, honey. They have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”

(The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)

Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”

Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”

(The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)

Daughter: “QUICK, MOMMY! GET YOUR TAMPONS!”


This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!

Read the next “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup story!

Read the “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!

This Spells Disaster

, , , , , | Right | December 23, 2010

Customer: “Can you help me find a movie? Your system confuses me.”

Me: “The alphabet?”

Customer: “Yeah.”


This story is part of the More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

Read the next More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup story!

Read the More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

You’ll Wanna Sit Down For This One

, , , , | Right | February 21, 2011

(A guest hands me a ticket for a movie that doesn’t start for another hour.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We’re not ready to let people in for this show yet.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “There are still people in the auditorium watching the last showing of this movie.”

Customer: *stare* “I don’t get it.”

Me: “We need to wait for the people to leave. Then, we will clean the theater, and then you can go in.”

Customer: “You mean I’ll be sitting in a seat someone just sat in?!”

Me: “Most likely, yes.”

Customer: “That’s unsanitary!”

Me: “That’s how movie theaters work, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, if my seat is warm, I want a refund!”

Petrol Perception

, , , , | Right | January 8, 2009

Customer: “Your pumps are a lot slower than they used to be. It never used to take this long to pump $20 of gas.”

Me: “The pump speed hasn’t decreased; it just takes longer to get to $20 now that the price of gas is half what it used to be.”

Customer: “Well, I wish it would go up again so I could fill up faster!”