(I am waiting for class to begin. Two girls are chatting behind me about their iPods.)

Girl #1: “My iPod is so old. It’s so old I have a sticker of Taylor Lautner on it.”

Girl #2: “Mine is so old I have Jersey Shore videos on it…”

(It is during the US 2013 government shutdown. My dad works for the government, so we are all annoyed and worried. Needless to say, there is quite a bit of Congress mocking.)

Mom: *suddenly* “Congress is just watching Spongebob Squarepants.”

Dad: “What?”

Mom: “I just wanted to think of the most idiotic thing possible.”

Me: *interjects* “No, they’re reading Twilight.”

Dad: “I honestly couldn’t tell you which was worse.”

Sister: “No, they couldn’t agree on the activity, so the Republicans are watching Spongebob Squarepants and the Democrats are reading Twilight.”

Dad: *shaking his head* “You guys are making a mockery of our political system… Oh, wait.”

(During college I work as a receptionist at a health clinic. There were four of us who rotate shifts and I often work with a second receptionist who is about 12 years older than me.)

Receptionist #2: “[My Name!] I wanted to ask you if you’d like to see a movie this weekend with [Receptionist #3], [Receptionist #4], and me for my birthday?”

Me: “Sure! What were you wanting to see?”

Receptionist #2: “You should know!”

(I should point out she was a HUGE Twilight fan. HUGE. I’d read the books on a 15-hour flight once because someone told me they were a quick read, but I personally prefer Anne Rice’s vampire novels.)

Me: “Um… Twilight?”

Receptionist #2: “Yes!”

Me: “Oh… I’m not really sure.”

Receptionist #2: “Oh, please? Please? I REALLY want us all to do something together!”

Me: *feeling guilty* “Well…”

(Receptionists #3 and #4 happen to come in for their shift and overhear. They finish convincing me to go with them. They aren’t fans either, so it’s pretty much understood we’re all doing this to be nice to Mary.)

Me: “Okay, I’m in.”

Receptionist #2: “Yay! And the best part is we’re going to the midnight premiere!”

Me: “WHAT?!”

(Receptionists #3 and #4 smirk at me, and I feel a sense of dread. Fast forward to that weekend. We get tickets ahead of time, have a late dinner which is really nice, and then the four of us go wait for the movie to start. The theater is PACKED with a mix of mostly teenage girls and women Receptionist #2’s age. Eventually, one of the “love interest” characters takes off his shirt, and the entire theater erupts in SCREAMS and WOOs!)

Me: *holding one ear shut since [Receptionist #2] is next to me screaming her head off, and glaring at [Receptionists #3] and [#4]* “I hate both of you so much right now.”

Receptionist #3: *also holding her ears* “You didn’t think we’d let you miss this, did you?”

(Through a mutual love of a dog based podcast I have made many friends around the world. Having met on social media a smaller group of us frequently chats in a chat group.  One of the chat group members is a trans-male and has his first appointment in a city an hour away from his home to get his testosterone shots.)

Friend: “[Trans Friend] got in a fender bender and is having a panic attack. Who lives in [State]?”

(The call was put out on social media to the larger group and we find a chat group friend who can meet up with him. Not only does she meet him but gets him to his appointment and to her place before making sure he gets a taxi home with a driver who is trans accepting. I call him once he is home.)

Trans Friend: “I can’t believe everyone pulled together for me like that. I was so scared to be in the city dressed male. I was only expecting to walk from the parking garage to the clinic, not go on public transportation.”

Me: “Well, we love you, silly. Also your dog has some majestic floof.”

Trans Friend: “I love your dogs, too.”

(We get each other.)

(My boss, a coworker, and I are walking toward the entrance of the building and my boss has commented that it’s too hot out. My boss and I were born and raised in northern states while our coworker is a native of AZ.)

Boss: “58 degrees is the perfect temperature for me.”

Coworker: “That’s freezing!”

Me: “[Boss] runs hot all the time. He used to go most of the winter in [Previous City we lived in with plenty of snow and cold weather] without a coat.”

Coworker: “Yeah, my boyfriend is like a werewolf, too. Sharing the bed with him is like sleeping next to a furnace.”

Me: “Wait… Did you just make a Twilight reference?”

Coworker: *laughing* “Yeah, I guess I did.”

Boss: “D*** you both for making me learn something about Twilight!”