Orange You Glad She’s Not YOUR Mother-In-Law?

My mother-in-law always insists that Mother’s Day isn’t a big deal and then gets upset when we don’t plan anything for her. The last time we went out for her, we planned a meal at a steakhouse.

Now, [Mother-In-Law] and I do not get along; she often pushes people’s buttons to see how they will react and then gets upset when they get upset. You know, the perpetual victim. I push back and refuse to bend to her pressures.

As the meal started, she ordered an alcoholic drink with fruit pieces in it. The fruit was honestly lacking — half a cherry, a piece of orange, and a chunk of strawberry the size of a dime. She was clearly unhappy, so she told (not asked) the waitress to get her more. In the meantime, she saw that my beer had a slice of orange dropped in it. Instead of asking me for the orange, she reached across the table, stuck her fingers in my beer, and took it.

I stared at her.

Mother-In-Law: “What? I wanted more fruit. Were you going to eat it?”

Me: “Yes, and it’s so gross to reach into someone else’s drink with your bare hands.”

Husband: “We can get you a new beer. Mom, please keep your fingers to yourself.”

Mother-In-Law: “She’s the one being rude.”

Me: “Are you—”

Husband: “I will handle this.”

Mother-In-Law: “If it’s such a big deal, I’ll drink the beer.”

She nodded to my husband as she reached across again and took the beer.

Mother-In-Law: “Obviously you’re not bothered by my other genes being in your space.”

For the rest of the meal, [Mother-In-Law] continued to try to steal from my plate specifically. At one point, she nearly got a fork in her fingers because she was trying to grab the piece of steak I had just cut.

When it came time to pay, [Mother-In-Law] spoke up.

Mother-In-Law: “This is my dinner, so someone else can cover my meal.”

Husband: *To the waitress* “We’ll buy her food, but she is buying the first beer my wife had.”

Mother-In-Law: “Why?!”

Husband: “Because you stuck your fingers in it and you drank it.”

Mother-In-Law: “Yes, but—”

Husband: “So you are paying for it.”

Mother-In-Law: “I’m not paying for anything.”

Husband: “You are. And this is the last meal we will have with you. If you’re going to act feral and childish, we will no longer be in contact.”

My husband handed the waitress enough cash for our meals and drinks (minus the first beer) and a generous tip, and we left. His brother called later to say that [Mother-In-Law] had not only pitched a fit about paying for the extra fruit for her own drink, but she also caused a scene over paying for the beer. Everyone else at the table agreed that they saw her stick her finger in it and then drink it, so she was forced to pay or risk police involvement.

She later posted online about how grateful she was for her wonderful children — everyone except my husband.