Older Mind Readers

(I’m the twin brother of the girl from “A Graphic Train of Thought” and “Their Reactions are Identical”. My sister missed two of my favourite stories, so here they are. The first: when we have a double period last thing on a Friday, our teacher lets us get a drink between the two periods. I ask my sister if she wants something, and she asks for tea. When I come back with her drink, this happens.)

Girl: “Oh, my God. How did you know she wanted tea?”

Me: “I asked her. Why? Did you want me to get you something?”

Girl: “No, I would’ve heard. Are you guys psychic?”

Me: “You’re kidding, right?”

Friend: “He did ask her, [Girl].”

Girl: “No, I would’ve heard. Look. Aren’t twins meant to be psychic? I mean, how else would you have known how she wanted her tea?”

Sister: “Because we’ve lived together our entire lives and I haven’t changed my drink order since we were twelve?”

(The second: we’re in the same GCSE class for chemistry and our teacher is a newbie. He’s calling out the names on the register and gets to our surname.)

Teacher: “[My Name] and [Sister], are you two related?”

Sister: “Yeah, we’re twins.”

Teacher: “Oh, that’s really cool! So, who was born first?”

Me: “Me, by ten-ish minutes.”

Teacher: “Let me guess; you’re the dominant one.”

Me: “Wait. What?”

Teacher: “You know, you’re more independent.”

Sister: “What?”

Teacher: “Oh, I’m not doubting your abilities, [Sister]. It’s just that he’s older.”

(He kept on pigeonholing us for the two years we had him. He insisted on seeing my sister as “the smart one” and me as “the athletic one,” even though we got very similar grades all through the year and my sister broke a school record in the javelin. Also, when our parents saw him at parents’ evening, he told them he admired my independence and my willingness to help my sister, despite my sister being the most independent person I know and her helping me out as much as I helped her. It really annoys me that people don’t see us as two separate, unique people sometimes, but at least we get funny stories out of it.)