Not Just A Snoop, But A Stupid Snoop. A Snoopid.

My boss is out for the day and calls to see what mail has come in.

Me: “The only thing that’s come in today is some junk mail and a self-addressed envelope, so I’m guessing something from the prothonotary’s office.”

For a lot of things in law, it is required to send a stamped envelope with your address on it so when they have to send, say, a report you requested or confirmation a case was filed, it doesn’t cost them any money and they have the correct address.

My coworker is somewhat new and is incredibly nosy. He likes to listen in on phone calls and conversations and tries to insert himself in to make himself seem important. Apparently, today while I was running checks to the bank, he was snooping in our boss’s office and saw the self-addressed envelope. Later, when the other senior lawyer in our office — [Boss]’s dad — comes back from lunch, [Coworker] decides to try and cause a little scene.

Coworker: “So, did you happen to see the mail today?”

Senior Lawyer: “No. As you can tell, I just got back, and unless it’s specifically addressed to me, [Boss] usually opens it. Why?”

Coworker: “Well, just, an interesting envelope came in today. It had no return label, which was a little suspicious.”

Senior Lawyer: “Did you open it?”

Coworker: “No, I didn’t think it would be safe to. Honestly, with the state of the world, I couldn’t be sure there wasn’t some sort of white powder inside!”

I hear this all from my desk and decide to cut the bulls***.

Me: “It’s a self-addressed envelope. That’s literally from us. You can tell immediately by how it’s formatted, and the printer has an error where it prints a line of dots, which is on the envelope. Besides, that’s your envelope, stupid. Did you not request something from the sheriff’s office last week that needed this?”

Coworker: “Oh, yes.”

He was then given permission to open the envelope and, sure enough, it was a document he had asked for.

I told [Boss] about it later, and he informed [Coworker] that if there is any mail he needed to be concerned with, [Boss] would give it to him directly or I would email him a copy to try and curb his snooping.