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(My 22-year-old boyfriend is making pancakes for the first time in his life. I’m helping.)
Boyfriend: “So, how do I know when it’s done?”
Me: “Well, you see it’s a bit stiff right after you flip it, but when it’s done it becomes softer.”
Boyfriend: “So, it’s done when it goes flaccid. Like me!”
(My 10-year-old brother has a pet rabbit who he loves very much. We’re watching a cooking show.)
TV Chef: “And today we’re going to ask you to make rabbit three ways.”
Brother: “What?!”
Me: “Sometimes people eat rabbit, honey.”
Brother: “No. Nope. Not happening.”
TV Chef: “This is how you butcher a rabbit.”
Brother: “It’s not rabbit; it’s sushi.”
Mum: “Sushi’s fish.”
Brother: “IT’S SUSHI!”
TV Chef: “…then you want to put the rabbit in the pot…”
Brother: “STOP SAYING IT’S RABBIT. IT’S SUSHI!”
(We are on a fairly long car ride. Our five-year old daughter is amusing herself by playing ‘I Spy.’ Unfortunately her version is slightly irritating to my husband, who’s driving. Our three-year-old son is also playing.)
Five-Year-Old: “Mummy, what comes after tree?”
Me: “What?”
Five-Year-Old: “What does tree start with?”
Me: “Oh, ‘T.'”
Five-Year-Old: “I spy with my little eye, something beginning with ‘T.'”
Me: *trying to play along* “Umm, train?”
Five-Year-Old: “No!”
Me: “Trail?
Five-Year-Old: “No!”
Three-Year-Old: “KITTY!”
Five-Year-Old: “No [three-year-old’s name]!”
Me: *trying to keep the peace* “Tree?”
Five-Year-Old: “Yes!”
(This continues on for a few more things, with our three year old interjecting ‘Kitty’ and ‘Puppy’ at varying intervals.)
Five-Year-Old: “Mummy, what comes after clouds?”
Three-Year-Old: *in a very serious tone* “Rain.”
(My husband bursts out laughing and I am able to convince our daughter to play a different game.)
(After spending the afternoon with my mom, and older sister and her two kids, we go to a local restaurant for dinner. My husband, who worked that day, meets us at the restaurant. He also happened to park our car right next to my mom’s car. As a family, we do a lot of bike races, triathlons, etc. so we have stickers all over our cars from our past races. Driving into the parking lot, my sister spots something.)
Sister: “Hey, that person did [local women’s only bike race] and [other women’s only bike race]!”
Me: “[Sister], you know that is my car, right?”
Sister: “…that makes sense…”
(I am meeting the daughter of one of my best friends for the first time. At this point, she is about one and a half. I buy her a plush USS Enterprise from ‘Star Trek,’ which prompts her father and I to discuss who was better, Kirk or Picard.)
Me: “Kirk!”
Friend: “Picard!”
Me: “There is only one way to settle this; let’s ask your daughter. Sweetie, who is better, Kirk or Picard?”
Friend’s Daughter: “Super Kirk!”
(We both have to agree with that!)
This story is part of our ‘Star Trek’ roundup!
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