(At school I am lucky enough to be put into the high-flyer set in math which means we take our GCSE a year early. I struggle in class and the teacher often just places me with a text book whilst she teaches the rest of the class. Despite this I still get a B in my test. Later…)

Teacher: “Ah, [My Name], I see you’re still with us. Are you sure you’re comfortable?  We’ll be doing A level Math from now on.”

Me: “Um, I should be okay. I mean a B is a good pass, right?”

Teacher: “I still believe you could have a chance to get an even better grade. Would you perhaps talk to one of the other teacher about possibly moving down a set?”

(My friends were all in this class so I didn’t like the idea of moving down. Still, I agreed to talk about it.)

Me: “Okay, should I take my stuff?”

Teacher: “I think it’s best.”

(She walks me into the first set classroom and announces to the teacher I am her new student before hurrying out the door.)

New Teacher: “Oh, I hadn’t heard about getting a new student in class. Have you been moved up?”

Me: “Um, no. I thought I was coming here to talk but I think she’s left me here now.”

New Teacher: “That’s not fair! Would you prefer to go back, or you’re more than welcome here.”

Me: “Might be best to stay where I’m wanted.”

(Most annoying part: still got a B. What a waste of a year.)

(I’m volunteering in a kids reading group and I read a children’s story about family and love to a 4-6 year old girl. I’m female and have a girlfriend.)

Girl: “Do you have a family?”

Me: “Yes, I do. I have parents.”

Girl: “Do you have a husband or children?”

Me: “Not yet.”

Girl: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Me: “Well… yes?”

Girl: “Is he kind?” *description of husband in book*

Me: “Yes.”

Girl: “Is he tall?” *another description of husband in book*

Me: “Not really.”

Girl: “What do you like about him?” *wife in book answers this with what her husband does around the house and his hobbies*

Me: “He can cook and likes to sing and make jewelry.”

Girl: “Really?”

Me: “Yes.”

Girl: “He sounds like a girl.”

Me: *pause* “Oh. I guess so.”

Girl: “But boys can do that. And girls can do boy things, too.”

Me: “Yes, that is very true.”

Girl: “Girls can also love girls and boys can also love boys, too.”

Me: *stunned* “You know about that?”

Girl: “Yeah. It’s called gay.”

Me: “Oh, wow. In that case, actually I don’t have a boyfriend. I have a girlfriend.”

Girl: *very loudly* “You are gay!”

(This attracted the attention of several people nearby, including the group leader. I sort of got in trouble because most youngsters don’t understand the issue, especially as some parents are uncomfortable, but after explaining how this came about it was understood. I later met the girl’s parents and found out the family was actually very open about these things.)

(My class goes on a field trip to clean the Everglades, and a photographer comes with us to take pictures.)

Me: “Uh oh, looks like rain.”

Photographer: “Huh, I think you’re right.”

(A few minutes later it begins pouring rain.)

Me: *looking around* “Where is the photographer?”

Student: “I can’t see him either.”

Other Student: “I think he left.”

Student: “He wouldn’t do that.”

(We spent 20 minutes looking for him in the pouring rain, but he did, in fact, leave without telling us. A week later he came to our class again to take pictures, because he didn’t the last week. Our professor told him to come back in 20 minutes, waited 10, then dismissed the entire class.)

(My boyfriend’s face is level with my chest when I stand in front of him. When I do that, he usually nuzzles his face into my boobs.)

Boyfriend: “I can tell what bra you’re wearing.”

Me: “Which one? How?”

Boyfriend: “Your black one. It pushes your boobs apart more than the others.”

(And we think that they’re not observant!)

(I’m asexual, meaning I don’t experience sexual attraction or lust. I’m also currently struggling to finish an essay for university. My partner and I, both women, are long distance at the moment, and usually talk via IM. I realize I’ve been missing hearing her voice.)

Me: “We need to Skype properly sometime. Maybe that can be my reward for when I finish this darned essay.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, you need to do that. I’d offer something slutty like ‘I’ll get my boobs out’ but YOU’RE ON THE INTERNET. THERE’S PLENTY OF BOOBS!”

Me: “Plus I’m not boobs motivated, but nice thought.”

Girlfriend: “I’ll make you look at my boobs if you don’t finish your essay!”