Finish Your Essay Or Bust, Literally

(I’m asexual, meaning I don’t experience sexual attraction or lust. I’m also currently struggling to finish an essay for university. My partner and I, both women, are long distance at the moment, and usually talk via IM. I realize I’ve been missing hearing her voice.)

Me: “We need to Skype properly sometime. Maybe that can be my reward for when I finish this darned essay.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, you need to do that. I’d offer something slutty like ‘I’ll get my boobs out’ but YOU’RE ON THE INTERNET. THERE’S PLENTY OF BOOBS!”

Me: “Plus I’m not boobs motivated, but nice thought.”

Girlfriend: “I’ll make you look at my boobs if you don’t finish your essay!”