All of our stories, starting with the newest!
(I’m known for being a goody-two-shoes and relatively quiet. However, I like to joke around.)
Me: *imitating customer* “B****, you didn’t make my Iced Capp icy enough!”
Shift Supervisor: “Did you just swear?! I can’t believe it! That was like hearing baby Jesus swear!”
(It’s seven am in the office, and only two people there – I, a female, and one male coworker.)
Me: “There’s some really great chocolate in the kitchen. You should try it.”
Male Coworker: “I don’t really eat sweets.”
Me: “What is wrong with you?!”
(A couple of days later, I overhear a conversation between two completely different coworkers, one male and one female, who were definitely not there for the previous conversation.)
Female Coworker: “There’s some really great chocolate in the kitchen. You should try it.”
Other Male Coworker: “I don’t really eat sweets.”
Female Coworker: “What is wrong with you?!”
(I’m the receptionist for a tattoo shop. My boss calls me into his office.)
Boss: “Can you check for a name and email address in our system to see who they worked with?”
(I check.)
Me: “The name came back with nothing, meaning they have never been a client.
Boss: “Hmm. I received an email. The subject line read, ‘Your receptionist’ and the body of the email was, ‘is a c***.’ I replied to the email asking who it was he spoke to, as there are two receptionists, and asked for the details of the conversation so I may reprimand accordingly. I never received a response. I’m not really sure what this is about, so just…”
Me: “Don’t be c***?”
Boss: “Yeah. Don’t be a c***.”
Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Delivery or carry-out today?”
Caller: “Where are you located?”
Me: “We’re on [Street] near [Intersection].”
Caller: “No I mean WHERE are you located? Like, are you in Missouri?”
Me: “Uh… Yes, we are.”
Caller: “Are you next to a [Fast Food Chain with thousands of locations nationwide]?”
Me: “We’re across the street from a [Fast Food Chain].”
Caller: “Okay, you’re who I need. I want a pizza delivered to [Street I’ve never heard of].”
Me: “That address doesn’t seem to be in our area. What’s the zip code so I can look that up for you?”
Caller: “[Zip code I don’t recognize].”
Me: “I’m not sure where that is. What city are you in?”
Caller: “How do you not know that? It’s [City], Florida!”
Me: “Sir… I’m in Missouri.”
Caller: “THAT’S WHAT I ASKED YOU BEFORE!”
Me: “And I said yes.”
Caller: “So, you don’t deliver here?”
(A customer comes in with an old catalogue and discovers the item he wants is no longer that price.)
Me: “Sorry, sir, that catalogue ended three-days ago. See the start and end dates on the front?
Customer: “I don’t give a f*** about where you’ve got dates. The price is in writing so you have to honour it! I know my rights!”
