Think Before You Ink, Part 2

| USA | Right | May 26, 2017

(I am a tattoo artist. A female client comes in asking if we can cover up a tattoo on her arm. She shows me a large tribal cross and rose; it’s very dark and badly done. Also a little crooked. We discuss what she wants and she’s looking for a girly anchor piece with flowers. I draw out a black anchor with flowers and explain that this may take 3 sessions and it won’t look complete right away. She agrees with the design and I do the first session. She pays and we schedule her to come back in a few weeks for the 2nd session. She comes in on her appointment day a few hours early and storms up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi, [Client], how’s the tattoo looking?”

Client: “It looks like s***. I can’t believe you did this to me.”

Me: *quite in shock* “What do you mean?”

Client: “It looks unfinished and like crap. I demand my money back!”

Manager: “Ma’am, your tattoo isn’t done. Your second session is in a few hours.”

Client: “No, she told me it was done. It looks nothing like what I wanted!”

Me: “I explained the entire process several times during the first appointment. You walked out knowing it wasn’t complete.”

Client: “You’re lying! I want my money back! Where’s the owner?!”

(At this point the owner stepped in and took her outside to talk. He came back in and said she agreed to let him finish the piece but they had to reschedule as he had other appointments. I tried to let it go and write it off as a crazy customer, but right after she left, she posted on social media a pic of the unfinished tattoo and a drawing she pulled off the Internet of a completely different design. With it was a scathing review. Thankfully my existing clients all jumped in to my rescue. I heard she tried other shops in the area and they all pointed her to us as we specialized in cover-ups.)

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Think Before You Ink

Don’t Even Need To Ink About It

| Canada | Right | April 23, 2017

(I own a tattoo parlour with a highly sought after artist. He has a very unique style, and often has clients who come from all over the world to get tattooed. This means he’s booked months, even years, in advance. He doesn’t do walk-ins, and only accepts projects that he feels will let him expand as an artist. He also keeps a cancellation list with secondary projects that he will accept if a spot opens up. He’s courteous enough to accept all consultations, but generally doesn’t add anyone to his list. One Monday, our consultation day, a girl in her early twenties comes in asking for a consultation.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m here for a consultation with [Artist]. He’s expecting me.” *smiles smugly*

Me: “Actually, we don’t make appointments for consultations, but [Artist] should be done with his current consultation soon, so you’re more than welcome to wait. Do you have a particular design in mind? One of our other artists might be able to handle it.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “Um, no. I want to be tattooed by [Artist]. He’s got something special already planned for me.”

Me: “Ah, okay. Well then, feel free to sit down and wait.”

(We get this a lot: people trying to weasel their way into his schedule, claiming they know him, he’s a friend, he’s already designed it, etc. He’s told us to just send the people back through to him rather than creating a scene at the front desk.)

Customer: “Can I book my appointment first, though? I want [Date and Time].”

Me: “I’m sorry; [Artist] likes to make all the appointments himself. He’s very selective about who he works with. He’s actually fully booked for the next 15 months, but we might be able to put you on the cancellation list if he likes your idea.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “Whatever. I already told you he’s got something special for me. He’ll book me for [Date and Time].”

(I realize I’m not going to get anywhere with this girl, so I show her to the waiting room and give her a consultation form to fill out. I also shoot Artist a text warning him about his next consultation. About 15 minutes later, the girl storms out of Artist’s office, screaming profanities at Artist.)

Customer: “You’re such a f****** asshole! Do you seriously think you’re so good you can reject my idea?! I’m PAYING you to do that, so YOU WORK FOR ME! F*** you! I’m going to f****** ruin your reputation! No one will want a tattoo from you after I’m done! F*** YOU AND YOUR S***TY SHOP!”

(She slams the front door so hard she manages to crack the glass.)

Me: “Geeze, [Artist] what did you tell her?”

Artist: “The truth. I told her I’m fully booked, and I didn’t like her idea. She refused to discuss other ideas, so I told her I didn’t want to work with her. If someone’s a pain in the ass during the consult, they’re going to a nightmare during the actual appointment. Not worth the headache.”

(Later we discovered she had left very negative and very rude reviews on our Facebook page and Yelp. However, due to Artist’s outstanding reputation, she was promptly told off by many of his clients. She has also been blacklisted at many of the tattoo shops around the city.)

(Tat)Too Young

| Ireland | Right | November 6, 2016

(A customer comes in wanting a tattoo of her son’s name on her wrist. We go through the standard consultation form, until we get to her date of birth and ask for ID.)

Artist: “How old are you?”

Customer: “17.”

Artist: “We can’t tattoo you.”

Customer: “But it’s my son’s name!”

Artist: “That doesn’t change the fact that you’re underage.”

Customer: “I have a child! I think if I can handle a child, I can handle a tattoo!”

Artist: “Just because you don’t know how to use a condom doesn’t mean you’re getting tattooed. Come back when you’re 18.”

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A Piercing Critique On Your Prices

| Paris, France | Right | June 7, 2016

(A young customers enters.)

Customer: “Hi, how much for an eyebrow piercing?”

Me: “Hi, it’s 40 Euros.”

Customer: *sadly* “But I have only 20…”

(This is something a lot of people try to do. It’s pretty annoying for us, because it’s just a loss of time and it’s insulting. They wouldn’t do that in another store.)

Me: “I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do. We use sterile material, sterile gloves, sterile needles, sterile titanium jewelry. This has a certain cost and we have a rent to pay.”

Customer: “But I have only 20.”

Me: “You can pay with a [Credit Card] or withdraw at the ATM right here in the street.”

Customer: “I can’t. I’m on probation and this is my last 20.”

Me: “Maybe you shouldn’t spend them on a piercing, then?”

Customer: “I know there is a place where every piercing costs five Euros.”

Me: *staying calm* “Yes, there are some shops like that. I have to tell you that those shops are really dangerous; they pierce without gloves with non-sterilised jewelry and a lot of people get allergies and infections there. If you don’t have a lot of money, don’t go there.”

Customer: “Okay! Can you give me the directions to get there?”

Me: *shocked* “No! I’m sorry but no, I can’t send you to those scammers!”

Customer: *obviously not getting it* “Can you print me a map?”

Me: *giving up* “You will find a map right here in the subway. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “But you didn’t gave me the address!”

Me: “I won’t. Have a nice day, and please let me get back to work.”

Very Bad Reception… Probably

| IL, USA | Working | February 9, 2016

(I’m the receptionist for a tattoo shop. My boss calls me into his office.)

Boss: “Can you check for a name and email address in our system to see who they worked with?”

(I check.)

Me: “The name came back with nothing, meaning they have never been a client.

Boss: “Hmm. I received an email. The subject line read, ‘Your receptionist’ and the body of the email was, ‘is a c***.’ I replied to the email asking who it was he spoke to, as there are two receptionists, and asked for the details of the conversation so I may reprimand accordingly. I never received a response. I’m not really sure what this is about, so just…”

Me: “Don’t be c***?”

Boss: “Yeah. Don’t be a c***.”

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