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Think Before You Ink, Part 8

, , , | Right | August 17, 2021

We work on appointments only. A young customer comes in; she’s kind of a regular, and not a very easy one, always nagging and trying to lower prices.

Customer: “Hi, I’d like this little bow tattooed here on the arm.”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be 130€. When would you like to do that?”

I start taking out the appointment diary.

Customer: “No, no. I want it right now.”

Me: “But… it’s not possible right now. We work on appointments only. Besides, I’m waiting for the next customer. I really can’t do it.”

Customer: “But… I want it now… pleaaaase.”

She’s literally trying the “puppy eyes” on me. I try not to laugh because she sounds like she’s four years old.

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I can’t do that. I can try to fit your appointment tomorrow in the morning?”

Customer: “NO! I WANT IT NOW!”

She STOMPS on the floor. I’m speechless. Seeing an adult do that is just incredible.

Me: “But… I just can’t.”

Customer: “FINE! I’LL GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! You lost a customer!”

She SLAMMED the door. I laughed about it with my colleagues. She came back some days after, WAVING her arm under my nose, showing me a tattoo she paid 300€ for. Someone charged her more than twice the price I gave her, and she bragged about how I should be sorry, without seeing the irony.

Related:
Think Before You Ink, Part 7
Think Before You Ink, Part 6
Think Before You Ink, Part 5
Think Before You Ink, Part 4
Think Before You Ink, Part 3

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You Just Did His Mom And Brother A Favor

, , , | Right | January 17, 2021

I am in the middle of getting a tattoo done when a guy walks into the shop.

Customer: “Hey, can I bum a light off of anyone in here?”

Tattoo Artist: “Dude, I’m a little busy right now.”

Customer: “Well, if not, then can I get a tattoo?”

Tattoo Artist: “It’s a $40 deposit, and what were you looking to get?”

Customer: “I want a portrait of my brother and my mom, and I want it done tomorrow.”

Tattoo Artist: “I can’t do that tomorrow. We’ll need a professional-grade photo of them so we have a good image to go off of, and then it will take some time to draw up. We don’t want it to look rushed.”

Customer: “You sure you can’t get it done tomorrow? That’s how they do it in Pittsburgh! You walk in and get it done.”

Tattoo Artist: “Well, this isn’t Pittsburgh. And like I said, we want it to look good, not rushed.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll be back.”

He leaves and my artist gets back to tattooing me.

Tattoo Artist: “He’s not coming back.”

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The Tattoo Store Where The Consultation Is The Most Painful Part

, , , , , | Working | September 4, 2019

(I’ve had an idea for a tattoo for a few years. My roommate comes back to our room one day with a beautifully drawn tattoo. I ask her where she got it and she happily gives me the shop name. I decide to call to make an appointment.)

Employee: “Hello, this is [Tattoo Shop]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi. I was hoping to set up an appointment for a consult? I have a design I want drawn out.”

Employee: “Okay. When were you wanting to come in?”

Me: “Ideally this weekend, but any time after five next week also works.”

Employee: “Okay. Well, you can just come in this weekend.”

Me: “Okay. I guess I’ll come in on Sunday.”

Employee: “All right, see you then!”

(Considering the woman didn’t ask for my name or phone number, I figure they don’t really do appointments, so I end up walking in on Saturday. The place is full of people getting tattoos. I walk up to the front desk.)

Me: “Hey, when would be a good time to come in for a consultation?”

Employee: “Well, [Artist] is going to be done next. Why don’t we go chat with him and see if he can do what you’re wanting?”

(We walk over to the tattoo artist. He’s currently working on someone.)

Employee: “Hey, this young lady wants a tattoo.”

Artist: *to the man he’s tattooing* “Did you hear that? She wants a tattoo; you’d better get up.”

(I’m starting to get uncomfortable; the artist sounds genuinely irritated and I can’t understand why.)

Artist: *to me* “What are you wanting?”

Me: “I want [design] over my heart.”

Artist: “Well, that’ll take some time to draw up.”

Me: “Okay?”

Artist: “So, you can either wait here or come back when I’m done with this guy.”

Me: “Do you know about how long it will take?”

Artist: *very rudely* “Well, I’m not going to rush him.”

Me: “No, I understand. I just don’t want to be sitting here if it’s going to be a few hours.”

Artist: “Yeah, it’s probably going to take two or three hours.”

Me: “All right.”

(I decide that I do not want to have this man tattoo me. As I walk out, I hear this:)

Artist: “The f*** is her problem?”

(I just left and ended up getting the tattoo at another shop that was far friendlier and better organized.)

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The Silence Of The Fans

, , , , , , | Right | July 30, 2019

(There is a villain in Doctor Who known as “The Silence.” They are instantly forgotten the moment you look away from them. My friend is going in to get a tattoo done that features the villain along with the words, “Silence will fall.”)

Tattoo Artist: “So, just the words will be [price].”

Friend: “What about the alien?”

Tattoo Artist: “What alien?”

Friend: “This alien.” *holds up reference picture*

Tattoo Artist: “Oh, right, hang on.” *turns to calculate price* “Just the words will be [same price as before].”

Friend: *getting frustrated* “But what about the alien?!

Tattoo Artist: “What alien?”

Friend: “The f****** alien in the picture!”

Me: “[Friend], I think he’s just messing with you.”

Friend: “What?”

Me: “Remember where the alien comes from?”

Friend: “Son of a b****.”

Tattoo Artist: “Sorry about that, man. All together, it will be [different price than before].”

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Bloody Inconsiderate Customers!

, , , | Right | July 11, 2019

(I am going to get my first lip piercing with a friend. I am nervous, but everything is going well. Soon I have a ring on my lip.)

Piercer: *hands me some paper towels* “Just press this against it; the bleeding will stop soon.”

Me: *pressing them on my lip* “There is a lot of blood in my mouth already. Is there a sink somewhere?”

(My friend is talking with the piercer and they don’t seem to hear me. I am about to ask again but realize that if I open my mouth, some blood will spill out. I mumble something while pressing my lips together tightly, pointing toward my mouth with my free hand.)

Friend: *understands what I’m trying to say* “Oh! Um, is there a sink somewhere?”

Piercer: “There’s a bathroom down the hall.” *gives me quick instruction on how to get there*

(I almost run to the bathroom and spit a lot of blood into the sink. I am glad I made it; some leaked through my lips on the way there. I spit out a few more times, wipe my mouth, and go back, since it has almost stopped bleeding.)

Piercer: “Seems like I hit a blood vessel… That was some bad luck.”

(After paying, we leave. My friend jokes how funny I looked, making muffled noises and waving my hand around. I laugh at that, too. On the bus going home I realize something.)

Me: “I don’t think I washed the blood off that sink.”

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