Name Games: A Teacher’s Teachable Moment

I teach children at a sports club, and we get a new member, age six. Her name has been changed.

Me: “Hello, nice to meet you. My name is [My Name], and you are?”

Anne Marie: “My name is Anne Marie.”

Me: *Checking the list* “Isn’t there supposed to be a line between Anne and Marie?”

Anne Marie: “No, people always think that, but it’s not. They also often call me Anne, but my name is Anne Marie!”

Me: “You are absolutely right.”

She has two lessons a week: one with me and my co-teacher and one with [Teacher]. I spot her a couple of weeks later, after her lesson with [Teacher].

Me: “Hey, Anne Marie, how’s it going?”

Anne Marie: “Fine… I guess…”

Me: “That doesn’t sound too cheerful. Is everything all right?”

Anne Marie: “[Teacher] keeps on calling me Anne.”

Me: “Did you tell her it’s Anne Marie?”

Anne Marie: “Yes, but she won’t listen!”

Me: “I’ll tell her for you. Don’t worry.”

I go to [Teacher].

Me: “Hey, [Teacher], I saw Anne Marie…”

Teacher: “Who?”

Me: “Anne Marie, the new girl.”

Teacher: “I have no Anne Marie in my class.” *Checks the list* “No, no Anne Marie… I do have an Anne.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s Anne Marie. I just wanted to let you know her name is Anne Marie, not Anne.”

Teacher: “No, it’s Anne. See? There’s no hyphen, so Marie is her middle name.”

Me: “You’d think that, but she told me her name is Anne Marie, not Anne. I’d like to think she knows her own name.”

Teacher: “Well, I ain’t got time for special treatment. Otherwise, all kids will want to be called by their middle names, as well!”

Yeah, the response stings, but the teacher is higher licensed, so what she says is final. (It doesn’t matter that I’ve been teaching for over twenty years and she started teaching three years ago…)

So, I go to my co-teacher, who’s been teaching for over sixty years and is equally licensed to [Teacher].

Co-Teacher: “Oh, yes, [Teacher] is a very stubborn know-it-all. I have an idea; just leave it to me.”

At our next lesson together, [Co-Teacher] decides to start the lesson. He does a roll call (without the names) and then starts the lesson.

Co-Teacher: “Anne, you start!”

I want to correct [Co-Teacher], but then…

Co-Teacher: “Anne Marie, what are you doing?”

Anne Marie looks confused.

Co-Teacher: “I called for Anne, didn’t I? And your name is not Anne but Anne Marie.”

Anne Marie: “But there is no one named Anne in the group.”

Co-Teacher: “Correct! So, that means no one starts until their name is called.”

Once in a while, during the lessons, he calls Anne Marie “Anne” on purpose and then gently repeats that Anne is not her name, so she doesn’t have to listen to Anne, just Anne Marie. Halfway, I join, as well.

Anne Marie: “Why is [Co-Teacher] calling for Anne if there is no Anne?”

Me: “He’s trying to tell you that you don’t have to listen to any other name but your own… unless there is an emergency. Is there an emergency?”

Anne Marie: “No.”

Co-Teacher: “Anne, you are up!”

Anne Marie looks at me.

Me: “Is that your name?”

Anne Marie: “No.”

Me: “Then I guess you don’t have to listen.”

Anne Marie: “But he’s the teacher!”

Me: “Which means he should know better. Using the right name is just basic respect.”

Co-Teacher: “Anne, come on!”

Anne Marie looks doubtful. 

Me: “Well?”

Anne Marie: “So… I don’t have to listen if he calls me Anne?”

Me: “Exactly!”

Co-Teacher: “Come on, Anne! We’re waiting!”

With the biggest grin she can muster, Anne Marie says:

Anne Marie: “I’m not Anne!”

Co-Teacher: “Oh? And what is your name, then?”

Anne Marie: “My name is Anne Marie!”

[Co-Teacher] tries to lure her out a few more times, but she understands the message. Now, the big test will be the next lesson, with [Teacher].

After the lesson:

Teacher: “What’s with Anne? She’s not listening at all anymore! She even said that Anne is not her name! I don’t know what to do anymore. I must go talk to her parents about this behavior!”

Me: “Really? We have no issue with her whatsoever.”

Teacher: “How is that possible?!”

Me: “Well… try using her name next time.”

Teacher: “But I am!”

Me: “Try using ‘Anne Marie’.”

Teacher: “But—”

Me: “Her name is Anne Marie.”

[Teacher] turned away, grumbling. The next time Anne Marie had a lesson from [Teacher], she left with the biggest grin ever. And yes, [Teacher] finally started using her real name.