Mother’s Day Of The Dead

, , , , , , | Friendly | June 11, 2018

(My family is what people consider morbid for the way we talk about our deceased mother. When Mother’s Day comes, this is one of the many stories I have about why I’m not doing anything.)

Coworker #1: “I’m taking my mother to dinner and buying her flowers.”

Coworker #2: “I’m cooking my mother’s favorite dinner. What about you, [My Name]?”

Me: “I’m not doing anything for her.”

Coworker #2: “How can you be so mean? Don’t you want to show her you love her?”

Me: “I do love her, but it’s not like she is going to throw a fit and yell at me.”

([Coworker #1] is laughing, since she knows about my mother and that I have already told [Coworker #2] my mother is dead.)

Coworker #2: “I hope you have a miserable Mother’s Day, [My Name]. Your mother might leave and you will never see her again.”

Me: “If my mother leaves, I will know, since there will be a giant hole from where she dug herself out of her grave. It’s not like she is going to say, ‘I’m tired of this grave plot; I’m moving to a new one.’”

([Coworker #2] got mad, cussed me out, and then refused to even look at me. [Coworker #1] had started laughing so hard they were snorting.)

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