Making You Feel Blue

I work at a place where customers can try coffee without purchasing. We also have a lot of customers bring in their coffee machines and some who ask for assistance. We also get a lot of tourists in as we are located in the Central Business District.

A customer approaches, speaking in a thick American accent.

Customer: “Oh, I have a question for you about the milk-frother machine.”

Me: “Yes, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “It doesn’t work.”

Me: “What seems to be the issue? Is there a burn mark on it? Do the lights flash when you use it—”

Customer: “No, it just doesn’t heat the milk. Like, it will froth it, but it won’t heat the milk.”

Me: “Is the machine doing anything differently? Does the light flash when you press the button?”

Customer: “No, it works. I mean, like, the blue light means hot right?”

Me: *Deadpan* “No. That means cold; the red light means hot. Here, I’ll show you.”

I proceed to walk her through the heating and cooling and how red means hot, blue means cold. I also do a machine demonstration so the customer can see.

Customer: “Yeah, but blue means hot, right?”

Me: “No, blue means cold. The red light means hot. When you get in the shower, you know how the taps have a red ring and a blue one so you can tell hot from cold?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well, it’s the same thing here.”

Customer: “Oh, this is just so confusing. I just don’t use it. I mean, my husband does; he’s like a coffee expert so he’ll have to use it. The lights are confusing. This is just too hard! I won’t use it. Thank you, though.”

I wonder how some people survive their stupidity.