Making A Blanket Purchase  

(I am in line at a thrift store when a woman rushes up behind me.)

Customer: “Ma’am, ma’am!”

Cashier: “I’ll be with you in a moment, ma’am.”

Customer: “I’m not waiting in line for this! I bought a blanket earlier but it’s not big enough so I’m taking another one.”

Cashier: “Ma’am, please wait in line and I’ll assist you.”

Customer: “No, I’m not paying for this! The blanket I bought earlier wasn’t big enough. I have a queen bed and I bought a twin. I’m taking this other twin blanket and I’m going to sew them together.”

Cashier: “Okay, if you please wait in line, I’ll be glad to ring you up.”

Customer: “No! I’m not paying for this. The other blanket isn’t big enough. I’m just going to take it.”

(By now all of the customers in line are incredulous and we’re all talking over ourselves trying to explain to the customer that you can’t just take things without paying. She is not comprehending at all.)

Customer: “I AM NOT PAYING! THE OTHER BLANKET WASN’T BIG ENOUGH!”

Cashier: “You have to pay for the things you buy here; that’s just the way it is.”

(The customer then loudly and messily blows her nose on the blanket.)

Customer: “There. Now it’s damaged. I’m taking it.” *walks out of the store*

Cashier: “Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. I guess she really wanted that $4 snot-covered blanket.”