Make Sure He’s Gone In A Flash

This happens many years ago when I am a wee lass working as a sales associate at a discount clothing store. I am merrily straightening out hangers in my department, when a relatively pleasant man in his mid-thirties comes up and asks if we sell bike shorts. I show him to the men’s section and he grabs a few athletic-type shorts and asks if I could help him further by making a recommendation. He wants me to follow him into the men’s fitting room.

My spidey-sense starts tingling and I tell him that female associates are not allowed in the mens’ fitting rooms during business hours — not true. He seems disappointed but maintains a polite demeanor and proceeds to tell me how he lost a bet and now he has to wear tight biker shorts for a week. He then asks me if he could have my opinion on whether or not he looks stupid in them. 

He isn’t making much sense, because he is just holding the athletic — not biker shorts — in his hand and I am trying to figure out what this whole ploy is. Before I get a chance to say anything, he drops his pants, right in the middle of the store. Luckily for me, he is wearing biker shorts, but is sporting a very obvious… ahem… engorged member.

I give him a skeptical look and just say, “Ummm, I think they are too tight,” and walk away. He stands there for a while with his pants around his ankles, looking disappointed. I think he wanted to get a bigger reaction out of me. 

I tell my manager, who notifies the police. Apparently, there were a few other businesses reporting the same flasher harassing young girls. I think he got caught eventually.