It’s Only A Big Deal If You Make It One

A friend from college used to have a female name. After years of struggling with her identity, she became [Male Name] and began transitioning. We were friends for about ten years before this, and his male name is close to his female name — like Andrew and Andrea — so sometimes I use [Female Name] by mistake. He corrects me every time, but I still feel bad. One day shortly after he began his hormones, we are out for food.

Me: “Hey, [Female Name]—”

Friend: “[Male Name].”

Me: “Oh, f***, I’m so sorry!”

Friend: “It’s okay. Next time you owe me a dollar, though.”

Me: “Deal.”

We shake on it.

A random girl comes to our table and stands over us.

Girl: “Transphobia is disgusting.”

Friend: “She wasn’t—”

Girl: “She was!”

Friend: “Look, I appreciate what you’re doing, but I’m okay. It was an accident, that’s all.”

She stands there, glaring at me.

Me: “So, [Male Name], as I was saying —”

Girl: *To me* “A**hole.” *Storms off*

My friend and I looked at each other. He rolled his eyes and laughed. I never use [Female Name] anymore, and my friend is happier and healthier than I’ve seen him in years.