Going Absolutely Peanuts For Attention

(My friend is severely allergic to peanuts.)

Waitress: “What would you like? Our specials are [list of specials].”

Friend: “I’ll have [meal], please. But does that have peanuts?”

Waitress: “Let me check.”

(She runs to the kitchen to ask someone.)

Other Customer: “Pasta doesn’t have peanuts, idiot.”

Friend: “Actually, some foods have traces of peanuts that you can’t taste. I happen to be allergic, so if I eat it, I could wind up in the ER.”

Other Customer: “That’s made-up!”

Me: “Actually, allergies are real things that really happen. And yeah, they can be life-threatening.”

Other Customer: “No, they are not! Allergies are sneezing. She’s making this up to get attention!”

Me: “Umm…”

Waitress: “No, it’s peanut-free.”

Other Customer: “I told you, you dumb b****! You want attention!”

Me: “Um, you’re the one making a spectacle.”

(The offending customer was removed and my friend got a free meal. Thanks, idiot customer, for the free pasta.)