Getting Into The Holiday Dispirit  

(It’s the beginning of December. I’m ringing customers out.)

Me: “…and you are all set. Thank you, and have a merry Christmas!”

Customer #1: “Thanks! You, too!” *exits*

(My coworker, who is bagging for me, gives me a weird look.)

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “You’re supposed to say, ‘Happy Holidays.’”

Me: “I try to tailor my greetings to what the customer is buying. That guy was buying tree ornaments and lights, so I think it’s safe to say he celebrates Christmas.”

(Later, another customer walks up with multiple food items from our Hanukkah display. I ring her up.)

Me: “Thank you, and happy Hanukkah!”

Customer #2: “How’d you know? Oh, wait… I guess my groceries gave it away! Thank you, sweetie!” *exits*

Coworker: “You are supposed to say, ‘Happy Holidays’!”

Me: “When [Manager] tells me to stop, I will. Until then, don’t be a mini-[Manager].”

Coworker: *shouts across the store* “[Manager]! Do we say, ‘Merry Christmas,’ or, ‘Happy Holidays’?”

Manager: “Uh… I guess ‘Happy Holidays’ covers everything, but—”

Coworker: “Ha! Told you! Now you have to say, ‘Happy Holidays’!”

Me: “Is your goal for today to annoy me? If so, congrats, you’ve succeeded.”

Coworker: “You don’t have to be so b****y about it.”

Me: “Go bag somewhere else!”

(My coworker stomps off to the next register. Another customer walks up. I ring him up.)

Me: “Thank you, and have a nice day!”

Customer #3: “What, no ‘Merry Christmas’ or anything?”

Me: “…”