(I’m in college, having ordered lunch from a food truck nearby and waiting around for my food. I am wearing a new shirt that reads “I Need an Adult,” which is a quote from a popular parody show online that is usually accompanied with an unnerving follow-up line. A man much older than me scoots next to where I’m standing, looming over me with a creepy smile.)

Man: “I AM an adult.”

(Surprised and excited that an older guy like him knew the response, I ecstatically raised my hand for a high-five.)

Me: “Yeah!”

Man: *confused look* “What?”

Me: “TeamFourStar!” *they’re the group that makes the parody show*

Man: *blank stare*

Me: *lowing my hand* “Uh… Dragon Ball Z abridged?” *said parody show*

Man: *blank stare*

Me: *thinking he’s joking* “Aw, come on. High-five!”

Man: “Uh…”

(Some people who are also standing around waiting for their food have taken notice of our conversation.)

Another Guy Waiting For Food: “Really? You just walked up to her and said that?”

Man: “Well, look at her shirt! The words are right over her chest! She was asking for it!”

(I think I and a handful of people physically reeled back from his response.)

Woman Waiting: “Wow. Are you serious? It’s 2015! I didn’t know people even thought like that anymore!”

Another Guy Waiting For Food: “My shirt has words over my chest. That’s kiiiind of where most words on T-shirts land.”

Man: “Well, women shouldn’t wear stuff that hovers on their chest like that!”

(He stormed away, leaving me and a couple of people to question if he was even waiting around for food or if he just came to creep me out. The guy that defended me also happened to be a fan of the same show (he even showed me several key-chains of some of the shows’ characters that he carries around) and we exchanged our favorite lines and references from the show before our order was called.)

Guy: “I was thinking about getting both your shirt and the ‘I Am an Adult’ shirt but now I’m afraid that I’LL be the creepy one if I ever wear the latter.”

Me: “I don’t think you’ll beat that dude who didn’t even KNOW the show and thought it was a good idea to say that to a stranger anyways.”

Guy: “Good point. See ya!”

(Despite the unfriendly encounter I had with the man before, I still intend to wear the shirt; especially since I know there’s a possibility of bumping into someone who may be wearing the shirt that accompanies it!)

(My friend is playing a video game and has just acquired and colored new sword. The tip is red.)

Friend: “It looks like it’s caked in blood.”

Me: “I don’t know if ‘caked’ is the right word. There’s not that much red.”

Brother: “Daubed?”

Friend: “Dabbed. Dobbied!”

Me: “No, only Bellatrix’s knife is that.”

Friend: “That was cruel.”

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

(I have worked at a hotel for about 10 years. My best friend and I both enjoy it when I come across strange or unusual names of guests who check in, so I often will text her and tell her the name. On this particular night I’ve come across one I was particularly amused by, so I text my best friend.)

Me: “There is a guest in house tonight with the name of Rhombus [Last Name]. I think I would hate to be named after a shape.”

Best Friend: “Maybe his parents were high?”

Me: “Maybe.”

Best Friend: “You would be Parallelogram [Middle and Last Name].”

Me: “Parallelogram, Seriously? I thought I was more of an Octahedron. Or Maybe a Dodecahedron.”

(I am a collegiate athlete. One day after practice our team is taking ice baths to soothe our muscles. As we are drying off, I notice my towel is missing.)

Me: “Hey! What happened to my towel?”

(One of my teammates rushes over and hands me my dripping wet towel.)

Teammate #1: “Oh, this was yours? Whoops. Sorry, bro. I thought this was mine.”

(He then proceeds to run off. I stand there confused since our towels look nothing alike but I think nothing of it and move on. A few minutes later…)

Teammate #2: “Hey! Did someone take my towel?”

(Teammate #1 rushes over to Teammate #2 and hand him his towel which also looks nothing like Teammate #1’s.)

Teammate #1: “Oh, this was yours? Whoops. Sorry, bro. I thought this was mine.”

(I think what he really meant was that he didn’t bring a towel and was simply looking to take someone else’s without them noticing.)

(I work at a retail store and overhear this conversation between two customers.)

Customer #1: “I have to buy this shirt!”

Customer #2: “But it’s not even your size.”

Customer #1: “I can give it to my daughter. I have to have it. One of my Sims has a shirt just like it!”

Customer #2: “Really?”

Customer #1: “Yep! Her name is Jojo and she’s an experienced adulterer! She is unemployed and spends her time cheating on her husband with six of my other Sims!”

Customer #2: “You sure you want to buy that shirt for your daughter?”