Email Fail, Part 43

I answer a phone call from what sounds like an elderly lady.

Caller: “I can’t find an important email I’ve been expecting. What phone number do I have to dial to retrieve the email?”

Me: *Confused* “You can’t retrieve email by phone. You need a computer or some sort of mobile device with an Internet connection.”

Caller: “I don’t have a computer!”

After some questioning, I find out that she has no Internet-capable device at all and she actually has no idea what the Internet is.

Me: “Ma’am, you would need to purchase a computer and subscribe to an Internet service to access emails.”

Being a computer salesperson, I decide to inform her of some options and pitch an entry-level laptop with a basic anti-virus install and OS setup.

Me: “This will come out to about $300 after tax.”

Caller: *Getting sour* “I HAVE INTERCOM!”

I am pretty sure she means Internet.

Caller: “I PAY THE PHONE COMPANY EVERY MONTH FOR IT! THEY HAVE MY EMAIL WRITTEN RIGHT HERE ON MY BILL! I JUST WANT TO START READING WHAT PEOPLE HAVE SENT ME!”

Me: “If you just want to read the emails that have been sent to that address, you could try your local library, or I could help you find a local Internet café? If the emails are stored on the phone company’s server, you could access them. I also suggest that you call the phone company to see if you’ve been charged for Internet that you haven’t been using.”

Caller: *Even more upset* “You are trying to sell me something I don’t need! You should be fired!”

Me: *Trying to stay calm* “Do you have any family members that could maybe help you understand what I am trying to offer as a solution?”

Caller: *Snottily* “Well, I have a son.”

Me: “My name is [My Name]. Bring your son in with you, and I can help you get your email.”

She started yelling again, so I hung up.

The next day, a man in his mid-fifties or so came in and asked for me. He said his mother was here to buy a computer and she would only speak to me. I said I would love to help find a solution for her. He left and returned with her — oxygen tank, walker, and all. She purchased the exact computer I had pitched on the phone.

Since then, I have sold four members of that family computers, so I guess it kind of paid off?

Related:
Email Fail, Part 42
Email Fail, Part 41
Email Fail, Part 40
Email Fail, Part 39
Email Fail, Part 38