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The Pen Is Mightier Than Her Brain

| Reading, PA, USA | Learning | December 30, 2013

(My mother is an elementary school teacher. She has asked one of the smallest kids in the class to point to something on the board. The little girl goes up to the board, but she can’t reach it. My mother hands her a pen, so that she can use it to point.)

Mom: “Here, sweetie. Use this.”

(The little girl takes the pen and looks confused for a moment. Then she sets it down on the floor and stands on it.)

Student: “This doesn’t help!”

Dog School

| Learning | December 30, 2013

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5 Stories of New Year Mayhem!

Not Always Right | Right | December 29, 2013

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories of New Year Mayhem! New Year approaches, bringing with it an end to the holiday season, but these customers will make sure it isn’t going down without a fight!

  1. New Years Resolution: Get A Brain (2,982 thumbs up)
  2. Not Seeing The Problem Here (1,977 thumbs up)
  3. An Extra Shot Of Irony (1,709 thumbs up)
  4. Starting A New Year Revolution (1,293 thumbs up)
  5. Hats Off To Idiocy (3,044 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Doesn’t Have A Glue

| ON, Canada | Right | December 29, 2013

(We have bottles of hand sanitizer at the pick-up and drop off counters for customers to use if they please.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “WHAT DID I JUST PUT ON MY HANDS?”

Me: “Er, what?”

Customer: *waving hands frantically* “What’s in that bottle? It’s not glue is it? My hands aren’t going to stick to my cart when I touch it?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s just hand sanitizer.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks! Have a good day!”

(The customer leaves without getting anything from the dispensary.)

Me: *to coworker* “Why the h*** would we have glue in squirt bottles?”

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To Kill A Flirtation

| USA | Right | December 29, 2013

(A man has just brought his two dogs in, named Scout and Atticus.)

Me: “Your dogs are so cute and sweet!”

Owner: “Oh, thanks!”

Me: “I love their names! To Kill a Mockingbird is my favorite book! It’s a shame your last name isn’t Finch. Haha!”

Owner: “Yeah… It’s also my wife’s favorite. My VERY pregnant wife. And three kids.”

Me: “Oh, that’s nice.”

Owner: “Yeah. I’m married. And I have three kids.”

Me: “O… kay…”

(Once the owner leaves, my boss starts cracking up.)

Boss: “[My Name]! Stop hitting on our clients!”

Me: “I wasn’t! I was just being nice!”

Boss: “Oh, my God. That was hilarious.”

Me: “But… I was just being polite and making conversation!”

(After that, I was a little more careful with whom I struck up a conversation. The man and his family are now regular clients. I’m glad I didn’t scare them off!)

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