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5 Stories of New Year Mayhem!

| Not Always Right | Right | December 29, 2013

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories of New Year Mayhem! New Year approaches, bringing with it an end to the holiday season, but these customers will make sure it isn’t going down without a fight!

  1. New Years Resolution: Get A Brain (2,982 thumbs up)
  2. Not Seeing The Problem Here (1,977 thumbs up)
  3. An Extra Shot Of Irony (1,709 thumbs up)
  4. Starting A New Year Revolution (1,293 thumbs up)
  5. Hats Off To Idiocy (3,044 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Hostile In Translation, Part 2

| USA | Working | December 29, 2013

(I am bilingual, a fact that my coworker seems to be jealous of. One day the phone rings and she answers it.)

Coworker: “Hello? Oh wait.” *hands phone to me* “Here. A Spanish customer.”

(I take the phone. There is a lot of background noise on the customer’s end and her cellphone is losing signal, so her words are very garbled up and choppy. I tell her to call back later, and hang up.)

Coworker: “What was that?”

Me: “Oh, her cell phone had a bad signal so her words came out all choppy. I couldn’t understand her at all!”

Coworker: “Yeah, right. I bet you don’t know Spanish! You don’t even have any accent!”

Me: “That’s because I moved here when I was a baby. But my family spoke it at home.”

(She shoots me a suspicious look and we continue on with work. The next day, a woman approaches and starts asking questions in Spanish. I didn’t get much sleep the previous night, and I’m dead tired. Plus, it’s near the end of my shift, so my brain’s fried. I try to help her as much as possible. She was inquiring about a job. Then she leaves.)

Coworker: *from behind me* “What was THAT?!”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “You were so awkward with that Spanish-speaking woman. I knew it. You’ve lied about being bilingual! I’m telling the supervisor.”

Me: *irritated* “Look! I’ve been on my feet for the last eight hours. I can barely speak English!”

(She tells the supervisor that I’m lying. The supervisor tells her to shut up and quit causing trouble! The Spanish-speaking woman gets hired and we speak Spanish all the time, much to my coworker’s irritation!)

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Hostile In Translation

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Some Colleges Are Streets Ahead

| WV, USA | Related | December 29, 2013

(My uncle is in high school, and feeling frustrated with his academics.)

Uncle: “I’ve had it! I’m just going to quit school and become a pimp!”

Grandmother: *sincerely trying to be helpful* “Can you study that at your college?”

An Overgrown Family Tree

| USA | Related | December 29, 2013

(My twin sisters and I are at home. I have often been mistaken for a boy and once as my father’s grandson. I overhear my sisters talking and join in.)

Sister #1: “So I could say that my best friend’s brother is my sister.”

Me: “What?”

Sister #1: “I said that my best friend’s brother is my sister. [Sister #2] is my best friend and you’re her brother, but you’re my sister.”

Me: “Right. And I also happen to be your father’s grandson.”

Sister #2: “Exactly. So my father’s grandson is my sister, who is also my best friend’s brother.”

Me: “Or your father’s grandson, who also happens to be your best friend’s brother, is actually your sister.”

Sister #2: “Seems legit.”

A Fan Of Her Meow-Meows

| USA | Romantic | December 29, 2013

(My boyfriend and I are taking a walk in the trails near his college. As it is secluded, we goof off.)

Boyfriend: “I love it when you wear sweaters! Your sweater kittens are adorable!” *he cups my breasts*

Me: “…what?”

Boyfriend: “Sweater kittens!” *he pokes my breasts as we walk*

Me: “…okay.”

Boyfriend: “Would it make you feel better if I called them sweater lions?”

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