Bleed For This Job

(I am a relatively new employee at this store. On this day I’m showing a customer an expensive “All-In-One” model of food processor.)

Me: “With the capacity and variable speeds, you can pretty much chop, slice, grind, puree, and do anything else you can think of, with pretty much any food.”

Customer: “How do you change the blades?”

Me: “Oh, they just pop out and can be snapped back in.”

Customer: “Demonstrate it for me.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Swap the blades out. I want to see you do it before I put my hands anywhere near this thing.”

Me: “Okay. Well, just so you know, I’ve never done this before, but from the instruction manual, it looks like you just have to grip them carefully by the center, so you don’t get near the sharp parts.”

(I attempt to remove the blade that’s in the processor, only to find it appears to be stuck. Gently, I try to press different parts, seeing if there’s a part I have to depress to release the blade, and find nothing.)

Customer: “Is this going to take long? I can’t stand around all day.”

Me: “Just a moment. Again, this is the first time I’ve tried this, so I just want to be careful.”

(I keep trying to pop the blade out, to no success. Suddenly I spy a coworker walking past us.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], could you help me here? I’m not sure if I’m doing this right and—”

(I suddenly feel something hit the food processor hard, while my hand is still in it. My fingers promptly slip and get sliced open as they accidentally brush across the sharp edge of the blade.)

Me: “Ow!”

(I yank my hand out to see blood dripping down my fingers.)

Customer: “Okay, so, at least I now know it can cut like it’s supposed to. Can I get one that doesn’t have blood all over it? I don’t want to catch any diseases from you.”

(Mercifully, I only needed a few band-aids, but we had to damage the display model of the processor out due to the biological hazard.)