(I am Irish and work in England. One of the things I find toughest is remembering not to curse in work, or even in public, since cursing in Ireland is commonplace, particularly in the industry I work in, whereas many English people seem to be offended by even overhearing a curse in someone else’s conversation. After a few years I manage to get transferred to the Irish office. I am doing the same job in the same company, just in the Irish office instead of the English one. I can hear my colleague on the phone.)

Colleague: “Hello. We only ordered one pallet. No, I’m not onsite; I’m in the office. I said I’m not f****** there! Can you see the security hut? I said we only ordered one pallet!”

(He is getting louder and angrier and suddenly loses it.)

Colleague: “You can shove your f******* pallet up your hole!” *slams down phone*

Me: “Ah, it’s nice to be home.”

(My company driver calls Colleague #1 to say that he will be passing by this area where one of our favourite food stalls is located and offers to get takeaway for all of us.)

Colleague #1: “Hey all, [Driver] called. He said he can help us get takeaway from [Favourite Food Stall].”

(Colleague #2 takes the menu and looks through it. After some time…)

Me: “[Colleague #2], have you decided? If yes, can I have the menu?”

Colleague #2: “I can have anything…”

Me: “‘Anything’ is not on the menu.”

Colleague #2: “What about walking out for lunch?”

Me: “Do you want to walk out for lunch?”

Colleague #2: “Anything…”

Me: “So you want ‘anything’—” *points to menu* “—or ‘anything’?” *pointing at the main door*

Colleague #2: *shrugging* “Anything…”

Colleague #1: “[Colleague #2], just get something from the menu!”

(I am waiting in line in a coffee shop behind an elderly woman, with a young barista serving.)

Elderly Customer: “I would like a small black coffee. I have a coupon to get it for free.”

Barista: “This coupon is good for a free medium coffee. Would you like a medium today?”

Elderly Customer: “I only want a small.”

Barista: “Well, this coupon only works for a medium.”

Elderly Customer: “I only want small, though.”

Me: “…”

(This standoff went on for a little while longer, until finally the woman sighed, gave me the coupon, and left. Neither of them could devise a solution to this insurmountable problem apparently. I got a free coffee out of it, though!)

(While I know people have differing opinions whether cow’s milk is an important part of our diet, I personally feel it’s important for a growing child. For the first year of his life, my son drank nothing but breast milk, straight from the tap, since he refused to take a bottle. When I tried to introduce cow’s milk into his diet at age 12 months, he would have none of it. I did a lot of online research and tried everything I could think of, but nothing was working. I continued nursing, and I brought it up with the doctor at his 15-month well visit. Note: we are military and do not have a designated pediatrician. We attend the medical clinic on base and receive care from whichever doctor is available that day. I’ve interacted with this particular doctor before, on a sick visit with my other son, and I wasn’t impressed with her.)

Doctor: “Everything looks great. Do you have any questions or concerns?”

Me: “Yes, I’m having a hard time getting him to drink milk. I know it’s important, so do you have any tips?”

Doctor: *horrified* “Oh, he NEEDS to drink milk! It’s vital for his growing body!”

Me: “Yes, I know that. That’s why I’m concerned. How can I get him to drink it? He won’t drink anything but water from his cup.”

Doctor: *lecturing* “Now, milk is full of calcium and protein, plus he needs the fat to help his developing brain.”

Me: “Yes! I know! He won’t drink it! I’ve tried mixing it with chocolate milk, soy milk, rice milk, coconut milk; nothing is working.”

Doctor: “No! Soy milk is NOT the same thing as cow’s milk. That is not sufficient. He needs COW’S MILK.”

Me: “That’s not what I said. I said I tried mixing cow’s milk with soy milk. I figure, if I can just get him to drink SOMETHING, I can then gradually change the ratio of cow’s milk to ‘filler’ until he’s drinking plain cow’s milk. I wish I could mix it with breast milk, but I stopped pumping once I realized he wouldn’t take a bottle, and I donated what I had in the freezer when we moved six months ago, plus gave away my pump.”

Doctor: “Oh, you’re still breastfeeding?” *I had indicated that on my intake paperwork AND mentioned it previously during the exam* “You should stop that. He’ll start drinking the milk then.”

Me: *shocked* “No… No, that’s not a valid reason to wean him. I only nurse him a few times a day, plus there is no evidence that one is connected to the other.”

Doctor: “Well, he needs to drink cow’s milk and he needs to drink it soon.”

Me: “I agree!”

Doctor: “He should be drinking 8-12 oz a day! You’re telling me he’s not drinking any, at all?”

(Long silence while we look at each other.)

Doctor: “Please get him to drink milk.” *starts to walk out the door*

Me: *as she’s leaving* “How?!”

(I returned home, fired up Google, and finally got him drinking milk. He’s now 2.5 years old and loves milk so much I have to ration it. The military has offered us many opportunities over the years, but there are some simple things of which I’m envious — like forming a relationship with a medical provider and receiving continued care over the years.)

(My husband and I grab a few donuts and drinks from a local grocery store for the road while we head out of town. We go to the register and a young woman is cashier. I know I’ve seen her during the day on school days, so I know she is older than high school age and has been there for a while, so I’m surprised by the following interaction.)

Cashier: “Your total is $8.57.”

(My husband hands her a $20 bill. She puts it in and realizes she put in $10 instead of $20 on the register, so the change reads $1.43. She grabs a pen and paper and starts writing something. I’m at the far end of the counter, so I’m not paying attention. I figure she’s writing something down about putting the wrong total in, just in case there’s confusion or something, which I understand. She turns to her coworker.)

Cashier: “Hey, they gave me twenty but I put in ten.” *she gestures to the register*

Cashier #2: *quickly looking over from her current customer* “It’s fine… Just figure it out.”

(The cashier turns back around and gets a new piece of paper to get ready to try and figure it out. I decide to speak up.)

Me: “It’s $11.43.”

Cashier: *stares at me blankly and in awe* “Did you do that on your phone?!”

Me: *trying to speak as kindly as possible* “Oh, uh, no. There’s just a $10 difference, so you just have to add ten to the $1.43 on the screen.”

Cashier: *still amazed, but obviously still doesn’t get it* “Huh. Oh.”

(I’m not very good at doing math in my head either, so I don’t judge when that happens… But I’ve made the same mistake as a cashier, and it’s the most simple mistake to fix.)