Always Swore You’d Come Home

| Dublin, Ireland | Working | July 23, 2017

(I am Irish and work in England. One of the things I find toughest is remembering not to curse in work, or even in public, since cursing in Ireland is commonplace, particularly in the industry I work in, whereas many English people seem to be offended by even overhearing a curse in someone else’s conversation. After a few years I manage to get transferred to the Irish office. I am doing the same job in the same company, just in the Irish office instead of the English one. I can hear my colleague on the phone.)

Colleague: “Hello. We only ordered one pallet. No, I’m not onsite; I’m in the office. I said I’m not f****** there! Can you see the security hut? I said we only ordered one pallet!”

(He is getting louder and angrier and suddenly loses it.)

Colleague: “You can shove your f******* pallet up your hole!” *slams down phone*

Me: “Ah, it’s nice to be home.”

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