Which Is S’more Unlikely?

(I work evenings at a four-star hotel with a restaurant attached. We have gas fireplaces in every room. I am the only one left on shift, but luckily for me, the owner is here doing her monthly audit. The phone rings and I’m busy, so she picks it up.)

Owner: “Front desk, how may I help you?”

(I pause as I see her roll her eyes.)

Owner: “Yes, this is a manager speaking.”

(A small amount of time passes and she looks completely dumbfounded.)

Owner: “I’m sorry, sir, could you repeat that, please?” *pause* “Unfortunately, sir, there is nothing I can do for you at this time. I will have maintenance come take a look in the morning.” *pause* “Sir, not only am I unable to do that but I won’t. I will have maintenance look at it in the morning, and if there is damage, you will be charged a compensation fee. Have a nice night.” *hangs up*

Me: “What was that about?”

Owner: “Some jack-a** got drunk and tried to make s’mores in the fireplace. His marshmallow melted to the glass and now he wants a complimentary dinner for the trouble.”

Me: “Wow. Still not the strangest thing I’ve heard this week.”

(As if on cue the phone rings again. She picks it up.)

Owner: “Front desk.” *pause* “Yes, this is the owner speaking.”

(She pauses again and looks at the room number on the display.)

Owner: “PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON I DRINK!” *slams down the phone and looks at me* “How do you deal with this?”

Me: “Apparently, the same way you do.”

This story is part of our S’Mores Day roundup!

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