When Your Manager Is Mr. Burns

Our store closes at 11:00 pm. We have some repeat offender customers who always come in around 10:55 pm and delay our closing duties for sometimes up to half an hour. We have one of those annoying corporate policies that says we’re not allowed to rush customers, but my manager has finally had enough.

Manager: *Approaching the customers* “You might want to make those purchases before 11:30 pm.”

Entitled Customer: “Why? Are you gonna tell me the registers shut off, because I know they don’t.”

Manager: “No. At 11:30 pm, we release the hounds.”

With perfect timing, the security guard walked past with one of the security dogs, who was sniffing around and full of energy. The customers went a little pale and decided it was time to make their purchase.

The customers never stayed late again, the manager and security guard never admitted that their perfect timing wasn’t intentional (although they never denied it), and the great big ball of friendly fluff that was Mungo the German shepherd got infinite treats on his closing rounds.