“We’re The Piraaates Who Don’t Do Anythiiiing…”

Back in the early days of office computer networks, I was put in charge of setting up and maintaining the network for the law firm I worked at. The partner attorney who oversaw all this was really something!

First, the firm’s entire reason for upgrading to networked computers was so that the firm would have an inter-office email system. But Mr. Partner decided that it would cost too much to buy thirty-five individual versions of the software and bought only ONE stand-alone version and had me install that one install disk on all thirty-five computers, using the same code every time. Thus, email wasn’t possible because stand-alone software didn’t include it.

After some investigation, I did find a way to do short “instant messages” from one person to another and set up a short macro for everyone to make that easier. Mr. Partner was heard proudly referring to that as “our email system.”

He followed that up by ordering me to call a friend in a nearby firm to ask if we could “borrow” their install disks for a spreadsheet program. Not surprisingly, that request was denied.

Then, he attended a conference at the local Bar Association on the subject of computer piracy and came to me afterward.

Partner: “Have you heard about computer piracy? It’s really terrible!”

Me: “Yes, I have heard of it. We do it all the time. If we did it any more, I’d have to have a patch on my eye and a parrot on my shoulder!”

The following year, they opted to do an actual legit upgrade to have real email and licensed software on each PC, all while Mr. Partner kept shaking his head saying he really didn’t see why we needed to go to that expense!