Immaturity Versus Hypocrisy

, , , , , | Right | December 28, 2018

(I work part-time in a gas station convenience store. We typically close at 11:00. However, tonight we decide to close early because we haven’t had a customer since 10:15. All of a sudden, a man walks up to the store as I’m walking out.)

Customer: “Hey, you! Do you work here?”

Me: “I do, but we’re closing early tonight due to lack of customers. You might want to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “That is NOT how you treat a person as an employee. Serve me!”

Me: “Sir, I was not giving any disrespect, but you are being incredibly rude right now.”

Customer: “Oh, and now you’re telling me how rude I’m being! Hypocrite. Serve me!”

Me: “It’s too late. I’ve already closed the store. I can’t do that now. Also, you are trying to call out MY hypocrisy, but I’m not the one being disrespectful. I already said you could come back tomorrow. YOU are the hypocrite.”

Customer: “I know you are, but what am I?”

Me: “Oh, man, you got me there. Have a good night.”

Customer: “I won’t forget you! You will pay for this.”

Me: “Oh, don’t worry; I’ll remember you, too. See you tomorrow.”

(I walked to my car, hoping and praying I wouldn’t have to see the man the next day.)

Unfiltered Story #129996

, , , | Unfiltered | December 3, 2018

My restaurant runs a gift card promotion every Christmas: 20% off if you pay in cash or with a check. The special ends on Christmas eve and is very popular. Today is January 3rd and a man comes in and complains he didn’t get the extra amount. Turns out he paid with a credit card and was told the special didn’t apply. He lies and said “no one told me that”. Then demands his money be put back on his credit card and he be reissued new gift cards with the extra percentage!!! My boss showed him the door!!

Unfiltered Story #127652

, , , | Unfiltered | November 26, 2018

(I’m a ride operator at an amusement park. On the ride I work, it is possible for the guests to get wet because it is water themed.)

Guest: Um, excuse me? Can I put my bag somewhere so it doesn’t get wet?

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but due to how small this area is, and due to fire safety rules, you can’t put your bag on the ground.

Guest: You mean you don’t have lockers to hold my stuff during the ride?

Me: No, I’m afraid we don’t.

Guest: But, I have a cell phone in my bag!!! It CAN’T get wet!!

(after she angrily leaves, I turn to a co-worker)

Me: Man, I really wanted to say: Oh, wow, you’re the first person to ever get on this ride with a cell phone! I guess we can make an exception for you, your majesty.

A Healthy Conversation About Religion

, , , , , | Right | November 9, 2018

(I’m a cashier. A customer sneezes several times as he approaches one of the self-checkout stations.)

Me: “Ah, gesundheit, sir!”

Customer: “You know you shouldn’t be saying that to people, miss.”

(A little perplexed, I stop making rounds around the self-checkout stations and turn to look at him.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir? What should I not be saying?”

Customer: “You shouldn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ to people.”

Me: “Eh, I didn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ though, sir; I said, ‘Gesundheit.’”

Customer: “I heard what you said; ‘gesundheit’ means ‘God bless you.’” *beginning to get irked*

(It takes me a moment to process what the man’s just said to me, since I know for a fact that “Gesundheit” means something like, “Good health to you.” But before I have a chance to respond to the man, he starts off on a tirade about how he can’t stand the fact that people have to shove matters like religion and God onto him and others all the time and can’t keep their opinions to themselves and whatnot. Meanwhile, I’m standing there, stock-still and quiet, as I’m holding my handheld monitor to my chest, definitely feeling a bit more than dumbfounded at what I’m hearing, all because I said a simple phrase! At some point I finally find a break in the man’s fervent outburst and manage to get a word in.)

Me: “Um, sir? ‘Gesundheit’ doesn’t mean ‘God bless you.’ It’s German for ‘Good health to you.’”

Customer: *stares at me again* “You sure about that?”

Me: “Completely so, sir.”

Customer: “It has nothing to do with God.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you know, you still shouldn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ to someone.”

Me: *actually feels my eyelid twitch a bit at this* “Yes, sir, I know that. Anyway, if you should at all require assistance while checking out, sir, let me know, okay? I’d be more than happy to help you.”

(I had to walk away from the man ASAP as I had a feeling that he would continue to incessantly drone on about why you shouldn’t say, “God bless you,” to someone when they sneeze. Honestly, had I known the man was going to get so cantankerous about me saying something with polite intention when he sneezed I’d have just stayed quiet! I’m not even religious, anyway!)

A Book To Fall For

, , , , , | Right | October 1, 2018

(A middle-aged lady comes in to pick up a book she placed on hold, and starts browsing around a bit in the kid’s book section before checking out. A few minutes later, I glance towards the back of the store and see an arm on the ground. Running over, I see her flat on her back. She doesn’t appear to be breathing, and her eyes are open but not moving, even when I wave my hand in front of her face.)

Me: *hoping to God she’s not dead and trying to remember the CPR I learned in high school* “Ma’am, are you all right? Ma’am?”

(No response, not even a twitch, and now I’m almost positive she’s just dropped dead. I run to the nearest employee, not wanting to shout and panic the children in the store, and tell my colleague to call 911 before running back to the lady. I have no emergency medical training, and the most I can figure to do is try checking her pulse and starting hands-only CPR, which I know can break ribs, so I’m trying to gear up mentally for that. Luckily, by the time I get back to her, she’s blinking and looking around. Whew.)

Me: “Ma’am? How are you feeling?”

Lady: “Just a little dizzy.”

(She’s speaking very slowly, and seems confused and out of it.)

Me: “Are you all right? I think you just passed out.”

Lady: “No, I just got a little dizzy and fell down.”

Me: “Well, we’ve called 911, and there are EMTs on their way to check you out, just in case.”

Lady: “Oh, no… Please don’t call 911. I’m fine; I just got a little dizzy.”

Me: “You took a bit of a spill, and I’m not comfortable letting you leave without making sure you’re all right.”

Lady: “But I don’t need to go to the hospital.”

(We go back and forth, with her insisting she’s fine, even though she sounds concussed at minimum, and me insisting that they’re already on their way and she needs to be checked out. The whole time I want to shout at her, “Lady, I thought you were DEAD! You are talking to a medical professional come Hell or high water, if only so I can sleep tonight without worrying about you REALLY dropping dead in an hour from an aneurysm or something!”)

Me: *getting firm with her* “I’m sorry, but you need to be checked out by the EMTs. In the meantime, you stay lying down here and rest. Do you need anything? Can I get you some water or a pillow?”

Lady: *looking resigned and still pretty out of it* “No, I’m okay.”

(Desperate for something to do to take my mind off of this drama while waiting for the ambulance, I decide to at least tidy the area around her so I can keep my hands busy and keep an eye on her just in case. I bend over and pick up the book she dropped on the ground when she went down.)

Lady: “Oh, I still want the book!”

(Absolutely stunned, I set the book back on the ground next to her. The ambulance arrived a couple of minutes later, and when the EMTs helped her stand up to check her out, she passed out cold again. They ended up rolling her out of the store on a gurney and taking her to the hospital. But here’s the real kicker: a couple of hours later, after she’d been discharged, she came back in and BOUGHT THAT D*** “FINDING DORY” BOOK. Gotta admire the determination.)

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