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Thanks, Rafiki!

, , , , , , , | Friendly | December 4, 2021

When I was about five years old, my parents took my three siblings and me to the state fair. At some point, I slipped away from the group. My mom noticed almost immediately but couldn’t find me. Cue panicked yelling of my name, and my dad asking a vendor to get security immediately.

Earlier in the day, my mom had bought us Disney pennants with our names on them. A man heard the yelling, looked down, and spotted a hysterically crying child holding a pennant with the name being called.

He crouched down and asked me to lift my flag as high as I could. I did so, and he picked me up and lifted me over the crowd.

Man: “[My Name]’s mom! [My Name]’s dad!”

The crowd cleared the way to my parents, some of them joining the call. My parents spun around and saw me now half-giggling, half-crying, being held like Simba, and ran to me. My parents thanked the man profusely, and those pennants were packed anytime we went to an outdoor event.

Related:
Shopping Follows The Circle Of Life

Do Old Ladies Dream Of Electric Refrigerators?

, , , , , | Right | October 12, 2021

A nice lady comes into my store and orders a new refrigerator. This is a basic model with no bells or whistles. We set it up for next-day delivery, and she pays, thanks us, and leaves. The next morning, she calls.

Me: “Good morning! Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi! I placed an order yesterday for a fridge and I need to cancel it.”

I get her information pulled up.

Me: “All right, I can do that for you right now. Since you paid with your store card, it will be refunded to that card within forty-eight hours. May I ask why you are canceling?”

Customer: “Yes. I had a dream last night and the digital came out of that fridge and killed me.”

Me: “The digital? Ma’am, there is nothing digital on this model.”

Out of nowhere, the customer bursts into hysterical tears and starts screaming from fear

Customer: “IF I LET THAT THING INTO MY HOUSE, I’LL DIE! THE DIGITAL WILL GET ME! THE DIGITAL WILL GET MEEEEE! I CAN’T HAVE THAT THING IN MY HOUSE!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, please calm down. I’ve already canceled the order. The… digital… won’t get you.”

Customer: *A bit calmer but still crying* “Thank you so much!” *Hangs up*

I stared at the phone in my hand for a moment before slowly hanging it up. My coworkers and I never did figure THAT one out! I hope she’s okay.

There Snow Limit To That Entitlement

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2021

The store that I work at is right next to a fairly big bus station, so we have a problem of people parking their cars in our lot rather than the bus station’s parking lot. Our store manager doesn’t care enough to actually do anything, so we just have to smile and bear with customers complaining about there not being enough parking, due to a bunch of our spaces being taken up by non-shoppers.

A woman comes in, buys a fair amount, and then requests someone to help load her car. When we get out, she walks up to a car that is covered in snow. We’ve had a week or so of snow at this point, but today has been bright and sunny, so it is obvious that she is one of those who parked here long-term while she went on a trip or something. Still, knowing that it wouldn’t do any good to mention it, I just smile and prep to load her bags.

She pops open the trunk, I start putting the bags in, and then she comes from around the car with an ice scraper in her hand and tries to hand it to me.

Me: “Um, no, thank you?”

Customer: “You need to scrape off my car.”

I am kind of shocked at her audacity.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m just here to help load your car.”

Customer: “But it’s your fault it is covered in snow.”

Now even more shocked.

Me: “I’m very sorry, but we don’t control the weather.”

Customer: “You should have brushed it off earlier.”

I didn’t trust myself to speak without laughing or mocking her, so I just shook my head, dropped the last few bags in her trunk, and then turned and pushed the cart away. Thankfully, she didn’t try to chase me or anything, and I will admit to finding it quite funny when I came out to help someone else load their car about ten minutes later and saw this woman trying to chip away at the half-melted mound of snow on her car.

Snow Reason To Stay Open

, , , , , , | Right | February 18, 2021

It’s the first snowfall of the year, but it’s one of those nights where it starts as rain at 5:00 and then by 9:00 turns into snow. At 8:55, all the customers have left the store, and since we close at 9:00, my manager closes the doors, only to have this interaction happen at 8:59.

Customer: *Pounds on the door* “It’s 8:59! You have to let me in!”

Me: *Looking confused* “Well, we already closed up. Are you sure it’s not 9:00?”

Customer: “Yes, look at your phone!”

Sure, enough my phone says 8:59.

Me: “Well, I really want to get home as soon as possible given the conditions of the road.”

Customer: “I really want you to get home safe, too… but it’s 8:59 so you have to let me in.”

I turn to my manager, who’s out of the viewing distance of the customer and looks extremely confused. We exchange glances for ten seconds.  

Me: *Pulls out my phone* “Oh, no! Look, it’s 9:00 now. Sorry, we’re closed.”

Customer: “It was 8:59 when I got here! This is terrible!”

The customer walked away.

Seriously, we’re open for twelve hours and she just decided she needed crafting supplies at 8:59? No crafting emergency is that serious! Luckily, my manager agreed.

Freedom Of Religion Is Only Good When It’s YOUR Religion

, , , , , , | Right | November 27, 2020

It’s Black Friday in a very busy lotion store.

Customer: *To an associate* “Merry Christmas!”

Associate: “Happy Holidays to you, too!”

Customer: *To me* “Well, that was rude!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: *To me* “I told your employee Merry Christmas and she didn’t say it back!”

Me: “Oh… Well, we aren’t a religious organization so we don’t promote or forbid our employees from using any particular holiday greeting.”

Customer: “Christmas is the reason for the season! She should be fired!”

Me: “What if she’s Jewish?”

Customer: *To me* “Then you should fire her!”

Me: “That’s called discrimination.”

She pauses, takes a step back, thinks for a moment, and says:

Customer: “Our forefathers did not form this country to ignore Christmas!”

Me: “Um… Yeah, they kind of added that whole freedom of religion thing.”

She pauses again… for an uncomfortable amount of time.

Customer: “Oh. That. Well, that’s not what they meant!”

She storms off angrily.

Associate: *To me* “I’m not Jewish.”

Me: “I know, but she’s not sane.”