When Self-Checkout Becomes Self-Aware

, , , , , , | Working | April 1, 2019

Our self-checkout systems yell at you if you don’t bag the item right away. One lady flew into a rage and demanded free groceries when the device told her, “Please move your pork butt…”

Immaturity Versus Hypocrisy

, , , , , | Right | December 28, 2018

(I work part-time in a gas station convenience store. We typically close at 11:00. However, tonight we decide to close early because we haven’t had a customer since 10:15. All of a sudden, a man walks up to the store as I’m walking out.)

Customer: “Hey, you! Do you work here?”

Me: “I do, but we’re closing early tonight due to lack of customers. You might want to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “That is NOT how you treat a person as an employee. Serve me!”

Me: “Sir, I was not giving any disrespect, but you are being incredibly rude right now.”

Customer: “Oh, and now you’re telling me how rude I’m being! Hypocrite. Serve me!”

Me: “It’s too late. I’ve already closed the store. I can’t do that now. Also, you are trying to call out MY hypocrisy, but I’m not the one being disrespectful. I already said you could come back tomorrow. YOU are the hypocrite.”

Customer: “I know you are, but what am I?”

Me: “Oh, man, you got me there. Have a good night.”

Customer: “I won’t forget you! You will pay for this.”

Me: “Oh, don’t worry; I’ll remember you, too. See you tomorrow.”

(I walked to my car, hoping and praying I wouldn’t have to see the man the next day.)

Unfiltered Story #129996

, , , | Unfiltered | December 3, 2018

My restaurant runs a gift card promotion every Christmas: 20% off if you pay in cash or with a check. The special ends on Christmas eve and is very popular. Today is January 3rd and a man comes in and complains he didn’t get the extra amount. Turns out he paid with a credit card and was told the special didn’t apply. He lies and said “no one told me that”. Then demands his money be put back on his credit card and he be reissued new gift cards with the extra percentage!!! My boss showed him the door!!

Unfiltered Story #127652

, , , | Unfiltered | November 26, 2018

(I’m a ride operator at an amusement park. On the ride I work, it is possible for the guests to get wet because it is water themed.)

Guest: Um, excuse me? Can I put my bag somewhere so it doesn’t get wet?

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but due to how small this area is, and due to fire safety rules, you can’t put your bag on the ground.

Guest: You mean you don’t have lockers to hold my stuff during the ride?

Me: No, I’m afraid we don’t.

Guest: But, I have a cell phone in my bag!!! It CAN’T get wet!!

(after she angrily leaves, I turn to a co-worker)

Me: Man, I really wanted to say: Oh, wow, you’re the first person to ever get on this ride with a cell phone! I guess we can make an exception for you, your majesty.

A Healthy Conversation About Religion

, , , , , | Right | November 9, 2018

(I’m a cashier. A customer sneezes several times as he approaches one of the self-checkout stations.)

Me: “Ah, gesundheit, sir!”

Customer: “You know you shouldn’t be saying that to people, miss.”

(A little perplexed, I stop making rounds around the self-checkout stations and turn to look at him.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir? What should I not be saying?”

Customer: “You shouldn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ to people.”

Me: “Eh, I didn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ though, sir; I said, ‘Gesundheit.’”

Customer: “I heard what you said; ‘gesundheit’ means ‘God bless you.’” *beginning to get irked*

(It takes me a moment to process what the man’s just said to me, since I know for a fact that “Gesundheit” means something like, “Good health to you.” But before I have a chance to respond to the man, he starts off on a tirade about how he can’t stand the fact that people have to shove matters like religion and God onto him and others all the time and can’t keep their opinions to themselves and whatnot. Meanwhile, I’m standing there, stock-still and quiet, as I’m holding my handheld monitor to my chest, definitely feeling a bit more than dumbfounded at what I’m hearing, all because I said a simple phrase! At some point I finally find a break in the man’s fervent outburst and manage to get a word in.)

Me: “Um, sir? ‘Gesundheit’ doesn’t mean ‘God bless you.’ It’s German for ‘Good health to you.’”

Customer: *stares at me again* “You sure about that?”

Me: “Completely so, sir.”

Customer: “It has nothing to do with God.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you know, you still shouldn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ to someone.”

Me: *actually feels my eyelid twitch a bit at this* “Yes, sir, I know that. Anyway, if you should at all require assistance while checking out, sir, let me know, okay? I’d be more than happy to help you.”

(I had to walk away from the man ASAP as I had a feeling that he would continue to incessantly drone on about why you shouldn’t say, “God bless you,” to someone when they sneeze. Honestly, had I known the man was going to get so cantankerous about me saying something with polite intention when he sneezed I’d have just stayed quiet! I’m not even religious, anyway!)

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