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There Snow Limit To That Entitlement

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2021

The store that I work at is right next to a fairly big bus station, so we have a problem of people parking their cars in our lot rather than the bus station’s parking lot. Our store manager doesn’t care enough to actually do anything, so we just have to smile and bear with customers complaining about there not being enough parking, due to a bunch of our spaces being taken up by non-shoppers.

A woman comes in, buys a fair amount, and then requests someone to help load her car. When we get out, she walks up to a car that is covered in snow. We’ve had a week or so of snow at this point, but today has been bright and sunny, so it is obvious that she is one of those who parked here long-term while she went on a trip or something. Still, knowing that it wouldn’t do any good to mention it, I just smile and prep to load her bags.

She pops open the trunk, I start putting the bags in, and then she comes from around the car with an ice scraper in her hand and tries to hand it to me.

Me: “Um, no, thank you?”

Customer: “You need to scrape off my car.”

I am kind of shocked at her audacity.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m just here to help load your car.”

Customer: “But it’s your fault it is covered in snow.”

Now even more shocked.

Me: “I’m very sorry, but we don’t control the weather.”

Customer: “You should have brushed it off earlier.”

I didn’t trust myself to speak without laughing or mocking her, so I just shook my head, dropped the last few bags in her trunk, and then turned and pushed the cart away. Thankfully, she didn’t try to chase me or anything, and I will admit to finding it quite funny when I came out to help someone else load their car about ten minutes later and saw this woman trying to chip away at the half-melted mound of snow on her car.

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Snow Reason To Stay Open

, , , , , , | Right | February 18, 2021

It’s the first snowfall of the year, but it’s one of those nights where it starts as rain at 5:00 and then by 9:00 turns into snow. At 8:55, all the customers have left the store, and since we close at 9:00, my manager closes the doors, only to have this interaction happen at 8:59.

Customer: *Pounds on the door* “It’s 8:59! You have to let me in!”

Me: *Looking confused* “Well, we already closed up. Are you sure it’s not 9:00?”

Customer: “Yes, look at your phone!”

Sure, enough my phone says 8:59.

Me: “Well, I really want to get home as soon as possible given the conditions of the road.”

Customer: “I really want you to get home safe, too… but it’s 8:59 so you have to let me in.”

I turn to my manager, who’s out of the viewing distance of the customer and looks extremely confused. We exchange glances for ten seconds.  

Me: *Pulls out my phone* “Oh, no! Look, it’s 9:00 now. Sorry, we’re closed.”

Customer: “It was 8:59 when I got here! This is terrible!”

The customer walked away.

Seriously, we’re open for twelve hours and she just decided she needed crafting supplies at 8:59? No crafting emergency is that serious! Luckily, my manager agreed.

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Freedom Of Religion Is Only Good When It’s YOUR Religion

, , , , , , | Right | November 27, 2020

It’s Black Friday in a very busy lotion store.

Customer: *To an associate* “Merry Christmas!”

Associate: “Happy Holidays to you, too!”

Customer: *To me* “Well, that was rude!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: *To me* “I told your employee Merry Christmas and she didn’t say it back!”

Me: “Oh… Well, we aren’t a religious organization so we don’t promote or forbid our employees from using any particular holiday greeting.”

Customer: “Christmas is the reason for the season! She should be fired!”

Me: “What if she’s Jewish?”

Customer: *To me* “Then you should fire her!”

Me: “That’s called discrimination.”

She pauses, takes a step back, thinks for a moment, and says:

Customer: “Our forefathers did not form this country to ignore Christmas!”

Me: “Um… Yeah, they kind of added that whole freedom of religion thing.”

She pauses again… for an uncomfortable amount of time.

Customer: “Oh. That. Well, that’s not what they meant!”

She storms off angrily.

Associate: *To me* “I’m not Jewish.”

Me: “I know, but she’s not sane.”

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Taking Into Account That Other People Have Accounts

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2020

(I’m a technical support agent for an Internet service provider. If you enter your account number in the automated system, it automatically pulls the account when your call is answered.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]; who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?”

Customer: “This is [Customer].”

Me: “Could you please verify the account holder’s name?”

Customer: “It’s… Well, it could be under two names; can I give you the account number?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “It’s [number].”

Me: “Oh, okay. That’s actually not what came up when you called; let me get the right account. Okay, can you verify the account holder’s name?”

Customer: “It’s either [Name #1] or [Name #2].”

Me: “Okay, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Well, maybe I have an old account? What was the other one?”

Me: “Uh… the wrong account.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: *pause* “That’s someone else’s account?”

Customer: “Uh…”

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Internet Snark Provider

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2020

(It is the early days of the Internet. The Internet provider for which I work is fairly small and only provides dial-up service. Customers have the option of telnetting into a shell account to connect. We also provide Internet service for a couple of local Internet cafes.)

Me: “Welcome to [ISP]. May I help you?”

Cafe Owner: “Hi, this is [Cafe Owner] at [Internet Cafe]. I have a customer who has an account with you and needs help getting into their shell account.”

Me: “Sure, just put them on the line.”

Customer: “Hi, can you help me?”

Me: “No problem.”

(I walk her through the not-too-complicated steps of opening a telnet session and signing in. This takes quite a while, as the customer isn’t familiar with the process at all.)

Me: “And now you’ll enter your username.”

Customer: “I don’t know what that is.”

Me: “Uh. Okay, well, it’s often the first initial and last name.” 

Customer: “All right.”

Me: “And then the password.”

Customer: “It’s not working.”

Me: “Are you sure you entered the password correctly?”

Customer: “Yeah. Oh, I know what it is. My account is at [Rival ISP].”

Me: “Sure. Uh, I’m not familiar with their information, but try [Rival ISP] dot net for the host?” *total stab in the dark*

Customer: “Oh, that worked. Great! Thank you so much!”

Me: “No problem, I’m glad to help. In the future, though, you might want to consider calling [Rival ISP] when you need help? They’re your provider and will have all the information you need.”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

(The customer abruptly flipped out on me, yelling and cursing, even though I had been nothing but polite throughout the whole transaction, and so had she, up until then. I had to put my manager on the phone, and he told her that she should have called her ISP in the first place!)

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