Turning The Stupid Up To Eleven

(I am working at the customer service desk when a woman comes up to me carrying a light fixture that is not in a box and has obviously been installed.)

Customer: “I’m looking for a light fixture. This one. You need to replace it; it doesn’t work anymore!”

Me: “All right, let me see what I can do about that. I just need to make sure it’s something we have in stock.”

(The woman has neither the packaging, nor the receipt, so it takes some doing to find the item, but I eventually locate it in the computer. Unfortunately, I’m on my own and can’t leave the desk to go get it for her.)

Me: “I found the light for you, ma’am. It’s down aisle 49, bay number 1. It will be at the front of the aisle on the left.”

Customer: “What does that mean, bay 1?”

Me: *pointing down an aisle near us* “Do you see how the aisles are divided up into sections? There are signs labeling where the sections are divided, and we call those sections ‘bays.’ You can see the signs here. You want the very first bay on the left-hand side, which will be labeled with a number 1.”

(The woman seems to understand and goes on her way. Sometime later she returns with her light fixture, absolutely fuming.)

Customer: “Your numbering system is stupid!”

Me: “Did you have a problem?”

Customer: “I looked for the label like you said, but there was a tag with a one, and there was a tag with two ones! I didn’t know where to look!”

Me: “Ma’am… the two ones would be an eleven.”