These Are The Kinds Of People Who’d Kill The Homeless During The Purge

I’m a delivery guy for a national pizza chain. My coworker is confirming online orders and calls me over, looking confused. At our place, if the total order isn’t over a certain amount, we add on a $5 delivery fee.

Coworker: “So… uh… this address just ordered sauce. Like… a 79-cent single pack of sauce.”

Me: “That’s gotta be a mistake. They’re paying $5 on top of that for the delivery.”

Coworker: “I’ll call them and confirm.”

He calls them while I get my other orders ready, and he comes over to me looking just as confused as before.

Coworker: “Some kid answered, and they said that… well… yeah… just the sauce.”

Me: “What’s the address?”

He tells me, and I realize it’s in a super fancy part of town. In fact, it’s inside a gated community, so I will have to pass their security gate to get to their house, which I know will be a pain.

Me: “I suspect this might be a prank.”

Coworker: “Well, they have ordered and paid, so… maybe bring it to them on the way back?”

Fair enough. I grab an extra sauce packet, and make them my last delivery of that round. As expected, I have to sign in at the security gate before I can get to the house, which is a huge, old-looking house with a lawn larger than some neighborhoods. I knock on the door, looking ridiculous with the single sauce packet. A kid, maybe eleven or twelve, answers the door, reaches out, grabs the sauce from me, and simply closes the door in my face. They don’t say a word, but this whole thing has been so surreal that I just shrug it off and go on my way.

Back at the store, I am putting together my orders for my next delivery round, when my coworker comes over to me again.

Coworker: “You’re not gonna believe this. That house put in an order for a single sauce again!”

Me: “Okay, this is definitely some kind of prank. I’m being filmed for a TikTok or something.”

Coworker: “Yeah, this is getting weird.”

My coworker explains it to my manager, but my manager states that as long as both the food and delivery charge has been paid for, we don’t have a choice.

So, off I go again, getting “You again?” comments from the security gate as I enter the neighborhood again. This time, the door opens and it’s a bunch of kids, all giggling and staring at me.

This time, though, an adult woman is walking past and notices all the kids bunched up at the front door.

Woman: “What’s going on?”

I explain that I am here to deliver a single sauce packet and that this is my second time tonight doing so. She just rolls her eyes and shepherds the children (at least six of them) away from the front door.

Mother: “That’s enough now, children. Leave the poor food people alone. You have the maids for this type of nonsense.”

She slammed the door in my face. No tip.