Technically, It Would Be The Japanese

I work in customer tech support.

Me: “Welcome to [Company] support. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’ve been hacked by the Chinese!”

Me: “I take it your computer is behaving strangely. Could you describe the problem?”

Customer: “I’m getting a message on my screen.”

Me: “Is it in Chinese?”

Customer: “No, it’s in [Local Language].”

Me: “Can you read it to me?”

Customer: “It says the Canon Deskjet program needs an update.”

Me: “Okay, did you at some point own a Canon Deskjet Printer?”

Customer: “Yes, six years ago.”

Me: “And when you got it, did you insert the CD and install the program?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And did you uninstall it when you got a new printer?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to. I’ve had several printers since then! How did the Chinese know I used to have a Canon Deskjet?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Can you help me?”

Me: “Sir, you haven’t been hacked.”

I try to explain it to him, but he cuts me off.

Customer: “Well, if you won’t help me, I’ll have to find someone who will!”

Me: “All right, sir, have a good day.”