Waxing Lyrical About The Pain

, , , , | Working | December 24, 2013

(Waxing hurts no matter what, but at this appointment, I notice that the worker was being a lot rougher than in previous appointments. She’s also very quiet for the first half.)

Worker: *suddenly yanks a strip off* “So, how has your day been?”

Me: *whimpers* “Good. Good just—” *riiiiip* “—a little hectic.”

Worker: “Uh-huh.” *riiiiip* “I’ve seen better days myself. My boyfriend had to leave today to be with his son in Montreal.” *riiiiip*

Me: “Oh, dear. — ah! — How come?”

Worker: “The boy’s mother is hospitalized.” *riiiiip* “So, who knows how long he’ll be gone for! And on top of that and working late, I have to walk home alone in the cold because my car wouldn’t start this morning. So I’m kind of having a rough day.” *riiiip*

Me: “Oh. Um — ow! — I think it’s understandable to feel that way. Just please don’t take it out on my crotch.”

Worker: “I would NEVER do that!” *RIIIIIIIP*

Me: *whimpers* “Oh… good.”

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Poorly Perceived

, , , , , , | Right | December 12, 2013

(I work at a restaurant in a very rich town, in which I also live. I am getting my hair done at a ‘posh’ salon when I see one of my regulars from the restaurant sitting in the first chair.)

Me: “Hello Mrs. [Customer]. Good to see you.”

Customer: “Oh, hel— Aren’t you my waitress from the place down the road?”

Me: “Yes, I am. How are you doing today?”

Customer: “I didn’t know people like you were allowed in a place like this.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(At this point my stylist comes over to bring me to her station.)

Customer: *to stylist* “Honey, did you know this girl is a waitress? Are you sure she has enough money to pay? You may want to check before you start serving her.”

Stylist: “Ma’am, [My Name] has been a client here for two years. She’s very reliable.”

Customer: “Oh, my. What a waste of money. Poor girls like you should not be wasting their money on things like this. Don’t you have a child to care for or something of the like?”

(At this point everyone in the salon is quite uncomfortable and is staring at the three of us.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, Mrs. [Customer]. I actually only work at the restaurant because I don’t like to spend my time being unproductive. You see, I am a college student at [Very Prestigious College]. I am currently studying to be a biomedical engineer, which I’ll have you know is the second top-grossing career currently. And since it seems to matter to you so much, I’m quite financially comfortable! And even if I were a poor waitress, as you so kindly suggested, people are free to do whatever they like with the money they work so hard for! Your husband comes in twice a week to get coffee and sit at our counter and complain about you! So really, Mrs. [Customer], I’m very, very sorry for you.”

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Got The Wrong (Hair) Extension

, , , | Right | December 9, 2013

(My salon has had the weeks before Christmas booked out since way back in March. In mid-November, I take a phone call.)

Caller: “I need a booking to get extensions, a full head of foils, and a cut, for Saturday, the 21st of December.”

Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have anything for the entire month of December.”

Caller: “Great. So how’s ten in the morning?”

Me: “I’m really sorry. We just don’t have any appointments in December. The next appointment for what you need is on January 30th.”

Caller: “Listen, you stupid little cow. I SAID, the 21st of December, at ten. Grab your little appointment book and book me in with [My Name]. I swear, she’s the only competent one of the lot of you!”

Me: “You do realise I’m [My Name], right?”

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Profit And Hair Loss

, , , | Right | November 1, 2013

(We’ve had trouble keeping business up, as our location is right next to a larger chain. On a particularly slow day, I’m confused when I see a young man come in with his entire head shaved nearly flat.)

Customer: “Excuse me; you may not still have me on file. I was here about 14 months ago.”

(I look him up.)

Me: “Yeah, you’re still on file; how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t know what to do with my dad’s hairline. It was starting to look like a bad comb-over, and you guys convinced me to shave everything.”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “Well, now that I have a razor and can do it myself, I realized that’s $14 a month you could be making. Can I just pay for a haircut, you don’t do anything, and you can just take the money?”

(After blinking for a moment, I consult my manager, who clears the sale. The customer insists on full price.)

Me: “Thanks, glad it worked out for you.”

Customer: “Thanks a million. [Competitor] made it look like crap. I just felt bad, you know? You lose the rest of my sales because you actually know what the heck you’re doing.”

(The customer even tipped well, which made our day. The other stylists and I were sharing the story all week.)

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Situation Is About To Get Hairy

| Working | August 2, 2013

(I have hair that reaches past my waist. I entered the salon with it tied in a bun.)

Me: “Hi, I just wondered if you could take about six inches off my hair. No layers or anything just cut it straight.”

Hair Stylist: “Sure, hon. No problem! Have a seat. Six inches is sort of a lot; are you sure you want me to take that much?”

(The stylist begins taking my hair down, and realizes how long it is.)

Hair Stylist: “Oh, wow! Why on earth would you let your hair get so long? How much did you want me to take off again?”

Me: “Oh, I’m pretty used to it. Just six inches or so; bring it back up to my waist, please.”

(The stylist begins working, and I can’t see how much she’s actually cutting until she turns the chair back to face the mirror, looking very pleased with herself.)

Hair Stylist: “There! That’s much better, isn’t it?”

(She has cut much more than I asked her to, and my hair is now just past my shoulders, which is way shorter than I’m used to.)

Me: “What did you do? I only wanted six inches cut off; you took a foot and a half!”

Hair Stylist: “But it will be so much easier for you to handle now, not to mention that no one has hair that long anymore.”

Me: “I liked my hair! Why would you cut so much off?”

Hair Stylist: “It’s better this way; you’ll thank me later, trust me. Now, that will be [amount].”

Me: “I’m not PAYING you for ruining my hair!”

(The owner of the salon, who I am acquainted with, pokes her head out of the other room and gasps when she sees my hair.)

Owner: “Hi [my name]! I thought you liked your hair long.”

Me: “I do! She cut off almost two feet when I asked for six inches!”

Owner: “[Stylist], why would you do that?”

Hair Stylist: “It looks way better; it’s much more modern this way.”

Owner: “But she liked it long! It’s your job to cut hair the way people ask you, not to make lifestyle decisions for people!”

Hair Stylist: “Whatever, she’ll be thanking me later! Now she needs to pay.”

Owner: “No she doesn’t. You blatantly ignored her wishes, and you’re insulting her.”

(The stylist and owner argue for a few more minutes. Finally, the stylist storms out, and the owner gives me a gift card to my favorite coffee chain to make up for it. Of course, I still have to wait a year for my hair to grow back out.)

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