(I go to a beauty salon to get my eyebrows waxed. I’d only been to this place once before.)

Beautician: “Are you ready to come downstairs?”

Me: “Yep.”

(I follow her down to the waxing room.)

Beautician: “Have you been with us before?”

Me: “Yeah, just once.”

Beautician: “Oh, okay. Who were you with last time? Was it me or [Coworker]?”

Me: “It was [Coworker].”

Beautician: “Okay.” *she starts laying out various items on the bed* “There’s your towel to cover your legs when you get under the bed.”

(This really confuses me, but I don’t say anything. She put baby wipes on the bed as well.)

Me: “I’m sorry. [Coworker] didn’t give me any of this stuff last time.”

Beautician: “Oh! Okay, well the wipes are for sanitary reasons. It’s important that you’re clean down there—”

Me: *mortified* “Um… I’m here for an EYEBROW waxing!”

(The beautician freezes before we both burst out laughing.)

Beautician: “You have just made my day!”

(I go in for a haircut shortly after washing my hair. My shampoo is scented with ylang-ylang flower.)

Stylist: “Are you a swimmer?”

Me: “What? No, it’s been years since I went swimming, actually.”

Stylist: “Your hair smells like chlorine. Too much of that can turn your hair green, you know. Swimmers need to be careful with their hair.”

Me: “I’m not a swimmer.”

Stylist: “But your hair smells like chlorine!”

Me: “I don’t see how it could. I just shampooed my hair before driving here.”

Stylist: “Shampoo isn’t always enough to get all the chlorine out.”

Me: “Okay, listen, there isn’t any chlorine. I’m not a swimmer. I haven’t been in a pool. There’s no chlorine. My hair doesn’t smell like chlorine because it hasn’t come into contact with any chlorine. Okay? It smells like my shampoo.”

Stylist: “Well, then your shampoo has chlorine in it.”

Me: “No, it doesn’t. It’s scented with ylang-ylang, which you’re probably not familiar with, but I don’t understand how you could mistake a tropical flower smell for chlorine.”

Stylist: *muttering* “Smells like chlorine. Need to be careful with chlorine. I’ve seen green hair.”

Me: “I also don’t chemically treat my hair, so it’s not likely to turn green.”

(She finally shut up about it, but her single-minded insistence that I was a swimmer on her way to having green hair was just incomprehensible to me.)

(I’m of Korean descent but I was adopted into Australia as a baby. I moved from one side of the country to the other alone, and made good friends with a woman who I’ve taken to calling ‘mum,’ as she looks out for me while my mother is so far away. Said friend accompanies me to the hairdresser one day and sits quietly as I chat to the stylist about being adopted and moving here.)

Me: “Oh, mum! How does it look so far?”

Friend: “It looks awesome, dear.”

Stylist: *touched expression, looking at my friend* “Did you move here to just to be with your daughter?”

Friend: *smirk* “I’m not her real mother.”

Stylist: “That’s… Well, I know, but you’re her mother NOW.”

Friend: “No, I’m not!”

Stylist: “But… but…”

(At this point, the stylist actually looks offended and has stopped cutting my hair.)

Me: “It’s okay; she’s not my adoptive mother, either. I just call her mum because mine isn’t here.”

(The stylist gave an awkward laugh and completed my hair in silence, whilst my friend and I were trying so hard not to make her more uncomfortable by bursting out laughing.)

(I’m having my eyebrows threaded at a beauty stand I frequent in the middle of the main thoroughfare of our local shopping mall. The business is owned and run by an Asian family, and they offer very competitive prices. They also offer threading for other facial hair. While I’m there, there are two technicians, both young Asian ladies. An older Asian man approaches [Technician #1], who is working on my eyebrows, while [Technician #2] is having a conversation with someone on the phone in her native language.

Man: “How much is it to have my whole face done?”

Technician #1: “£22.”

Man: “I’m Indian.”

Technician #1: “Yes. £22.”

Man: “What? Even for a fellow Indian?”

(At this point, [Technician #2] puts the phone down and says something to [Technician #1] in their language. The Indian man waits, expectantly. She addresses him in English.)

Technician #2: “We’re from Pakistan. £22.”

(The man glares and stalks off before the two technicians burst into laughter. I ask what I’ve missed.)

Technician #1: “We’re Indian.”

Technician #2: “We always get these older guys trying to haggle us down ‘because we’re all Indian.’ India’s a big place, and we have a business to run!”

This story is part of our Hagglers roundup.

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(It’s just after work. I head over to a store where I saw a cardigan during lunch. It has been a long day and I am exhausted. I only have enough money in my account for the cardigan. I get stopped by an employee working a skin care stall.)

Employee: “Could I interest you in a free face cleanse and massage?”

Me: “No, I am sorry. I don’t want to waste your time as I do not have the money to buy anything off you.”

Employee: “No, no obligation. You look exhausted and I thought you would just like to relax for a moment.” *takes hold of my arm, leads me to a chair*

Me: “No, thanks.”

Employee: “Come on. You are exhausted. Just do something for you for this once.”

Me: *giving in* “Okay, but remember I can’t buy anything.”

Employee: “Okay.” *starts rubbing lotion on my face and gives me relaxing massage* “You’ve had botox!”

Me: “No”

Employee: “Wow, your cheeks are really nice and firm. No wrinkles.”

Me: “Um, thanks.”

(He finishes the massage and I am feeling a bit refreshed until he starts ringing up items on the register.)

Employee: “You need this, this, and this. Total is $120.”

Me: “No, I am not buying anything. I already told you that I don’t have the money.”

Employee: *starts slamming things down* “But…”

Me: “No buts. I didn’t want to do this but you pretty much dragged me over until I agreed even though I told you I had no money for it. Anyway, I like to feel how things go on my face and if there is a reaction before I buy. I was thinking of coming back tomorrow to purchase but your attitude now has put me off that.”

(I got my cardigan, which was the most expensive I’d ever bought. It has been five years and it’s still beautiful.)