A Cut Below The Rest

| Working | November 6, 2012

(My sisters are getting their hair done, but they’re given a rather ditzy stylist. She finishes with one and starts on the next.)

Stylist: “So, how do you want your hair done?”

My Sister: “Can I get my bangs angled and my hair layered?”

Stylist: “What?”

My Sister: “I said, can I get my bangs angled and my hair layered?”

Stylist: “I don’t know what you’re wanting!”

(My mom comes over.)

Stylist: *to my mom* “I don’t know what she’s wanting!”

My Mom: “She wants her bangs angled and the rest of her hair layered.”

Stylist: “I don’t know what that means!”

(My other sister comes up.)

My Other Sister: “She wants her bangs cut at an angle and her hair layered.”

Stylist: “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

(Unfortunately, when we finished, she had angled AND layered her bangs!)

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Uni-eed A New Job

| Working | September 19, 2012

(I’m getting ready for my first high school prom. I am therefore very excited when I go to get my eyebrows waxed. Note: I have red hair and VERY fair skin, so my brown eyebrows look darker and longer than they are by comparison.)

Me: “Hello! I have an appointment to get my eyebrows done.”

Stylist: “Oh, lord! ”

(I assume she’s talking about my skin, so I just smile, a bit confused.)

Stylist: “Well, come on! I have to make you look pretty!”

(She proceeds to be very rough with me, groaning the whole time. She then gets distracted talking to a coworker and spills a fair amount of hot wax on me.)

Me: “Ow! That really hurt!”

Stylist: “Well, that’s not my fault!”

Me: “You spilled wax on me! How is it not your fault?”

Stylist: “I was distracted by your giant unibrow!”

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Best Not To Press On With This Job

| Working | August 9, 2012

(I have just had my nails done and the cost is $35. I give the employee two twenties. She tries to give me a ten and a five as change.)

Me: “I thought you said it was $35?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “I gave you forty.”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “You’re trying to give me $15 back in change.”

Employee: *confused* “Yes…”

Me: “Forty minus thirty-five is five. I gave you $40 for the nails and the tip. I don’t need any change.”

Employee: “A $15 tip? Thank you!”

Me: “Okay, let’s just stop. The cost for my nails is $35, right?”

Employee: “Right!”

Me: “And I gave you two twenties which is $40, right?”

Employee: “Right!”

Me: “Okay, so forty minus thirty-five is…?”

Employee: “Five, of course!”

Me: “Great! So my change would be $5, but I told you to keep it.”

Employee: “Yes, $15. Thank you again!”

(I am frustrated and am wondering if I should just forget about it and leave. The manager notices something is wrong and comes over to us.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

(I explain the whole thing to the manager.)

Manager: “No wonder our register is always short! What is wrong with you, [employee]? I have no idea if you’re playing dumb or not, but you are no longer allowed to TOUCH the register!”

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At Least We Know Her Natural Color

| Right | June 26, 2012

(One of our stylists has just been fired, so one of her clients books with me for the first time. She is approximately 65 years old and uses a walker.)

Me: “Hi! I’m [name], I’ll be taking care of you for your color today!”

Client: “Hi, sweetie. Sorry, I’m a little slow. I just had a hip replacement.”

(She stops dead in the middle of the busy salon, and without warning pulls down her pants. Apparently, she chose to go commando that day.)

Client: “Look at this scar they gave me! It’s only a few months old.”

Me: “Oh, that looks…uh…terrible. Why don’t you just have a seat and I’ll show you some color options…”

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Two And A Half Customers

| Right | May 3, 2012

(Our salon requires a credit card hold for parties of three or more to discourage last-minute cancellations. It doesn’t matter how old the customers are. Whether they are 3-year-olds or 80-year-olds, we still reserve a spot for them regardless. We have a lot of customers who try to get around the credit card rule.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [salon], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I wanted to make appointments for two people today.”

Me: “Sure, what kind of services would you like?”

Caller: “Two pedicures.”

(I book the appointments, confirm with the caller, and am about to end the call.)

Caller: “I also wanted to bring my daughter in for a kid’s pedi.”

Me: “Oh okay, so you’re actually booking for three people?”

Caller: *sounding annoyed* “Does she even count? She’s just a kid.”

Me: “Yes, she does. She’s still a person.”

Caller: “That’s ridiculous!”

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