(We are setting up a new store. The owners want to open as soon as possible so leave part of the store blocked off because it hasn’t been set up yet. An older woman approaches me.)

Customer: “What’s in that area?”

Me: “Nothing at the moment but it will be [Department] when it is.”

(She starts moving stock that we have blocking access into the area, as it’s dangerous to have customers wandering around in there.)

Me: “Sorry, you can’t go in there.”

Customer: “I want to see what’s in there.”

Me: “I can’t let you in there. There isn’t anything set up in there yet.”

Customer: *yelling at me* “HOW DARE YOU OPEN THE SHOP BEFORE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING SET UP?!”

(We are a small boutique and we are expected to greet every customer who comes into the store in a friendly manner, and ask if they are looking for anything specific since sometimes people need help looking for a gift or an item they recently saw. A lady comes with a sleeping newborn strapped to her front.)

Me: “Hi there! How are you?”

(The lady glares at me and gives a tiny wave. Confused, I give her a few minutes to walk around before approaching her.)

Me: *in a calm, normal volume* “Was there anything specific you were looking for today? A gift, maybe?”

Lady: *in a fierce whisper* “SHHHH!”

Me: *whispering* “I’m sorry. Let me know if you have any—”

Lady: *still whispering angrily* “I’m just trying to keep him asleep; that’s why I left the noisy street, so kindly keep your noise DOWN!”

(Offended and bemused, I go silently back to the register. Soon another customer enters. I approach them so I’m not shouting across the store.)

Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

Customer: “Great thanks!”

Lady: *charging up to us and almost shouting* “CAN YOU PLEASE JUST BE QUIET FOR ONCE?!”

(We both stare at her and the baby wakes up and soon starts screaming.)

Lady: “Well, thanks for THAT. Guess I’m all done shopping now!”

(She leaves in a huff.)

Customer: “Well. Isn’t she just the poster model for not having kids? Anyways, I’m looking for a serving bowl for my mother…”

(A new, high school aged, male employee, eager to help out a customer, sees me gathering stray carts from around the store. Behind him stands a blonde young lady, but I don’t really look at her. They are both standing next to the area where the nursing supplies are.)

Coworker: “Do you know where the breastfeed boxes are?”

Me: “Breastfeed boxes?”

Coworker: “Yes, she needs to find the breastfeed boxes.”

(I’m very confused. I’m also a guy, just out of high school at the time. I don’t know too much about nursing supplies, but I am certain that I’ve never heard of such a thing. I also can’t help but wonder why she’s asked a young man about this, since the average teenage boy wouldn’t be knowledgeable on the subject either. So many different things are flashing through my mind trying to figure out how boxes would relate to breastfeeding.)

Me: “I’m not sure what that is. I mean, I know we have breast pumps; they come in boxes… Privacy blankets… We have bottles, but those aren’t box like at all…” *I make eye contact with the customer* “What exactly is it that you’re looking for?

Customer: “Recipe boxes.”

Me: *realizes my coworker has quite spectacularly misheard what she’d said* “RECIPE boxes! Are you looking for a product that has pre-made recipes on cards?”

Customer: *looking confused, and slightly disturbed* “A box with a lid where I can place recipe cards in. You know, cards I’ve written up or gotten from—”

(Her face lights up as she finally has realized what the other employee had heard. She turns her cart around and starts making her way towards housewares.)

Customer: “It’s oookay! I’ll find it myself!”

Me: *holding back laughter* “Are you sure you don’t want help? They might be in—”

Customer: “Oh, nope! I’m fine!” *shaking her head, holds her hand up in the air in an over exaggerated dismissive gesture* “I’ve got it from here!”

(I glanced at my coworker, who was so embarrassed that he was blushing a deep, deep red. I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I continue gathering stray carts, but choose to avoid the housewares section.)

(My friend and I used to work for the same retail shop. I left a few months ago to accept a job in the field that I studied at university. My friend is doing the same, but her hours are very open for work. They have recently hired a new manager who is less than accommodating, though. My friend is usually very good at taking on hours and meeting requirements for hours set by the new manager. Often she is the go-to for covering shifts when people cannot attend. However, recently she needed a few days off to attend an important event, and had asked for her entitled annual leave. She never asks for time off and she has always picked up shifts to help out where she can and she has for months. This is the first time she has dipped into her annual leave… and this is what happens.)

Friend: *to manager* “I noticed that my annual leave has been approved, but I am still rostered for these days?”

Manager: “Oh, yes, well we have no workers available, so we will pay you out for those days as annual, but we need you to work.”

Friend: “That isn’t how annual leave works. I shouldn’t have to come in if I’m getting paid my annual leave. And why do I not get it off?”

Manager: “Well… [Coworkers #1, #2, #3]—” *notorious for showing up hungover or not at all on shifts* “—asked for it off this week.”

Friend: “But I asked for it weeks ago? It was approved! And it is for my brother’s wedding! They only asked for it off this week because [Coworker #1] has some party on!”

Manager: “Well, I’m sorry; I’m not in charge of the rostering.” *lies*

Friend: “My annual leave was approved, though. I’m not working when I’m getting that paid out! And I’m not coming to work. It’s my brothers wedding!”

(This went back and forth for a bit, apparently. My friend refused to show up and the manager threatened disciplinary action. Thankfully, my friend was smart enough to threaten union action and the disciplinary was was magically waived. She complained about the manager and the staff after it showed up online that the manager had attended Coworker #1’s party and the stunt they tried to pull regarding annual leave. Still waiting on a result. My friend recently graduated and will be leaving this job soon!)

(A customer has been getting very irate while waiting for manager to authorise her discount. The manager comes down after a couple of minutes.)

Manager: “I am terribly sorry, madam. A woman has gone into labour in the fitting rooms.”

Customer: “That means nothing to me. I am a paying customer, and paying customers comes first. That hussy you’ve got back there probably can’t even afford anything in this store!”

Manager: *annoyed* “Of course, madam. I see you are trying to use this coupon?”

Customer: “Yes, now get a—”

(The manager walks away from us and starts attending to another customer.)

Customer: “HEY! You were helping me, not them!”

Manager: *turning his head* “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you said paying customers come first. Am I to assume you no longer want to use your coupon and actually pay?”

(The woman blushes and keeps quiet while the manager finishes with the other customer. He processes her coupon, but before he hands the receipt over.)

Manager: “In future, madam, steer clear of here, unless you want to be thrown out. No one in my store calls a pregnant woman, much less one in labour, a ‘hussy’ and demands priority treatment because they’re ‘paying.’ Now get out!”

(The woman managed a feeble apology and left in a hurry.)