This One Is A Real Mind-Gender

| Related | February 27, 2012

(I am talking to a friend, whose younger brother is with him.)

Me: “My dad has a twin sister.”

Friend’s 4-year-old brother: “Can you tell them apart?”

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Warning: Reacts Poorly To Chemistry

, | Right | February 22, 2012

Customer: “And a cheeseburger with—” *mumbling*

Me: “I’m sorry, but with what?”

Customer: “No salt. S, A, L, T.”

Me: “Oh, salt, like sodium chloride…NaCl. Sure.”

Customer: “What!?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I’m a chemistry nerd.”

Customer: “What’s NaCl?”

Me: “Sodium chloride. The chemical name for table salt. I just left school so I am in that mindset.”

Customer: “You put chemicals in your burgers!?”

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Who’s Dating Who

| Right | February 22, 2012

(I work as a server in a popular restaurant. This happens on the toughest day of the restaurant year: Valentine’s Day. A couple in their 20s has just been served their meal.)

Me: “How are you both doing this evening? Can I bring you anything else?”

Customer: “We aren’t doing very well at all! You aren’t doing nearly as much as you can to make my lady feel special!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I was trying to make you both feel special this evening. I thought you might want to be the one to make your lady feel extra special.”

Customer: “It’s not my job to make her feel special. It’s your job!”

Customer’s date: *looks like she wants to die of embarrassment*

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One Whopper Of A Mistake

, | Right | February 19, 2012

(A customer walks in and slams a bag down on the counter in front of me.)

Me: “Yes, can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yes! I drove all the way home and had to come all the way back here! That young lady right there said my mozzarella sticks were in this bag, but THEY’RE NOT!”

(He points rather exaggeratedly at the girl in the drive thru. I look calmly down at the bag, then up at the customer.)

Me: “Sir, this is McDonald’s. That’s a Burger King bag.”

(He then looks down at the bag and slowly back up at me.)

Customer: “Oh.” *picks up bag and runs out the door*

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Somebody Failed Listening 101

| Right | February 18, 2012

(While waiting for his to-go food to arrive, a customer is making small talk with me about college.)

Customer: “So, what are you studying in school?”

Me: “Psychology, sir.”

Customer: “Why? That’s a stupid profession. You won’t go anywhere with that! All you’re doing is wasting Daddy’s money!”

Me: “Actually, sir, I am pay—”

Customer: “My daughter studied Psychology! She wasted all my money!”

Me: “Sir, I’m paying for my own college.”

Customer: “Dads always pay for college!”

Me: “Mine isn’t. I live alone and pay for my own schooling.”

Customer: “Whatever. Dads always pay!”

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