(My parents and I have an order to go, receive it, and leave. Upon detecting something funny, we go back to complain.)
Employee: “Was there something wrong with your order?”
Dad: “Look at it, and you tell me.”
Employee: *upon re-opening the wrapped burger clearly labeled ‘chicken teriyaki’’* “…There is no meat.”
(On one of our first dates, my boyfriend read my palms and sort of showed me how to do it. It is a month and a half later.)
Me: “Remember that time you showed me how to read palms?”
Boyfriend: “Yeah, why?”
Me: “Give me your hand; I want to try.”
Boyfriend: “Okay, let’s see how you do.” *he puts his palm in my hand*
Me: “See this line here? It means you’re a nerd.”
(I work at a well-known sandwich shop chain and we have a limited menu. It’s a little slow and I’m with my coworker and shift manager. A homeless man walks into our shop.)
Everyone: “Hi! Welcome to [Shop]!”
Coworker: “What can I get for you today?”
Customer: “You guys got any pastrami?”
Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, unfortunately we only have [lists the meats on our menu].”
Customer: “What about steak?”
Coworker: “We do not sir, I’m sorry.”
Customer: “Well, what do you have here?”
Coworker: *lists all of our sandwiches and sides, which include cookies*
Customer: “Well, then can I get a turkey? And be sure to toast it.”
Coworker: “We actually don’t toast our sandwiches. They only come cold.”
Customer: “Fine. Whatever. Can I get a bowl of soup to get with that as well?”
Coworker: “Sir, again, we only have [lists side items].”
Customer: “What kind of sandwich shop is this?!”
(My manager and I have been waiting on the line to make his sandwich and hear everything.)
Manager: “Sir, [Another Sandwich shop] is just up the road. If you go there I know they have all the things you requested.”
Customer: “NO! I WANT TO EAT HERE!”
Manager: “Sir, we have told you the menu—”
Customer: “WELL, I DON’T LIKE YOUR MENU! YOU NEED MORE THINGS!”
Manager: “Sir, I have suggested another shop that can satisfy you and you rejected it. You can order something off our menu, or you can leave.”
Customer: “FINE!” *orders sandwich*
Coworker: “Would you like a cookie with that?”
Customer: “Ya, got any macadamia?”
Coworker: “We only have chocolate and oatmeal.”
Customer: “What about sugar?”
Manager: “Sir, those are our only choices.”
Customer: “This place is so stupid! Fine; I’ll have oatmeal.”
(We make his sandwich and wrap it up for him and just want him to leave.)
Customer: “This place is so stupid! I knew I should’ve gone to [Shop my manager recommended earlier].” *leaves*
Me: “He didn’t have to eat here!”
Manager: “I need a minute. I’ll be back.”
(My manager needed a few minutes to cool down before the dinner rush. Luckily we didn’t have any more incidences and we never saw him again.)
(A customer calls me over to his table.)
Customer: “Do you use [popular American Brand] coffee?”
Me: “No, sir, we use [Local Brand].”
Customer: “But this is false advertising! You’re using [American Brand’s] logo! I only came here because I wanted [American Brand] coffee!”
Me: “Please show me where you read this.”
Customer: *still ranting, points at a logo on the menu*
Me: “That’s the Rainforest Alliance logo. It just means that our brand is part of the Rainforest Alliance.”
Customer: “Well… you shouldn’t be allowed to use the same picture.”
(I am a server and it is a busy Friday night. I have about six tables, one of those being a 12-top with about four kids.)
Me: “Hi, it’s really busy and I’d rather not run into your kid. Do you mind not letting them run around?”
Customer: “Are you serious? You can’t just watch where you are going?”
Me: “I’ll do my best.” *I smile and walk away*
(10 minutes later, I’m walking through the aisle with three plates in my hand and a child runs into me and steps on my foot, leading to a large bruise and me dropping all the plates, that were for their table.)
Customer: “ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?! YOU NEED TO WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING! YOU COULD HAVE DROPPED THAT ON MY SON!”
Me: “I am so sorry. I tried but your son ran into me. I’ll get this food remade for you right away!”
Customer: No forget it; we are leaving! This is your fault! You’re the worst server I have ever had, almost hurting my son!”
