(I am working the drive-thru pretty late at night. A man that seems to be in his mid-20’s pulls up.)

Customer: “I’d like to order [Item].”

Me: “Sure, would you like a drink with that?”

Customer: “A Coke.”

(He deliberately mispronounces it so it sounds like something a lot ruder and snickers.)

Me: “Ah, sure. What size?”

Customer: “I don’t know. What size do YOU think it is? What size suits me?”

(At this point I’m fed up with his poor attempt at innuendo.)

Me: “Well, sir, we don’t have an extra small, but I can give you a small. Please drive through.”

(He shut up pretty quickly, and didn’t even speak to me for the rest of the transaction. I served him a few times after that and he was always very quiet!)

(I, my older brother, and my older sister are waiting for our food at [Restaurant known for pancakes]. I keep looking back waiting for my huge stack of chocolate chip pancakes because I am really hungry, and my siblings are laughing at me because of it.)

Me: *sitting at the table drinking apple juice*

Sister: “Your food’s here.”

Me: *turns around* “WHERE?!”

Brother: *starts laughing and gasping* “Oh, you fell for it!”

Me: *glares at sister and stays silent for a while, before turning to her* “Your make-up’s smeared.”

Sister: “Where?”

Brother: *laughs hysterically* “How did you not see that coming?”

Sister: *glares at me*

(My father just managed to confuse my stepmother and me by talking about hotel breakfast hours while in a diner that serves breakfast. Once we get the confusion cleared up, this exchange occurs.)

Dad: “I blew it.”

(Pause.)

Dad: “I blew it.”

(He literally blows on his menu.)

Dad: “I. Blew. It.”

(I blow at him.)

Me: “I blew you!… No. Forget I said that.”

(My brother frequents the store that I work at because he enjoys visiting me. Due to this, one manager has come to like him so much that she memorizes his order and has done her best to see to it that everyone else knows it as well. This happens when she is on vacation and another manager is on duty.)

Mom: *drives into the drive-thru*

Manager: “Welcome to [Store]. How may I help you?”

Mom: “I would like [Sandwich] and um, a [Sandwich] the way [Brother] likes it.”

Manager: “And what is that?”

(At this point, I am scrambling to go and tell the manager what it is since I am to assist him with taking orders, however, he shoves me aside.)

Manager: “Ma’am, you are the parent. You should know how to make [Brother]’s sandwich!”

Me: *fed up with being ignored* “EXTRA PICKLE, EXTRA ONION, EXTRA KETCHUP! LARGE WITH TWO CUPS OF NACHO CHEESE! AND UNSWEET TEA!”

Manager: *rings this in* “Your total is [amount].”

(When my mom pulls up to the window, my manager proceeds to chew her out because of her order. After she pulls away.)

Manager: “Is that the only reason why your mom comes here only when you’re working, [My Name]? Pathetic!”

Me: “[Manager], that is not the whole case—”

Manager: “—and what is [Brother] now? Didn’t you say he is 18? He should learn to speak up!”

Me: “That isn’t the problem!”

Manager: “Then what is it?”

Me: “[Brother] is autistic. He has problems speaking up! Especially to his parents! And my mom comes in to keep me company!”

Manager: “He should still learn to speak up!”

(The next day, I learned that my coworker who was on the grill reported this to the General Manager. She came to me and told me that my mom could come in and order just like that again, despite what that last manager said. That manager now refuses to serve my family when they come through the drive-thru.)

This story is part of the Autism Awareness roundup!

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Dad: “This Ebola virus epidemic is ridiculous. It just shows an astounding lack of competence. They should have declared it an emergency five months ago, not one month ago.”

Me: “Who?”

Dad: “Yes, WHO. Exactly.”

(In case anyone is confused, WHO is the abbreviation for the World Health Organisation.)