The Feeling Is Mute-ual

, | Working | February 1, 2013

(I pull up to the drive-thru and place my order. However, I ask for clarification on what’s included on a combo as I’ve never eaten at this chain before.)

Employee: “The combo comes with two sides and a drink like it says on the menu.”

(The employee then speaks off the drive-thru intercom to her coworker, unaware I can still hear her.)

Employee: “I love making people feel stupid!”

(Despite hearing this, I decide to let her comment go.)

Me: “Right, well that will be all.”

Employee: “Your total is $6.54. Please pull forward.”

(At the window, I hand her $10.54 since I have an overabundance of change in my car already. I’m expecting four $1 bills, but she starts to hand me my 54 cents back and starts counting back change.)

Me: “No, I should get $4 back.”

Employee: *confused* “What? You gave me too much.”

(We go back and forth for a few seconds before the manager comes over and explains the simple bit of addition and subtraction that took place and counts the $4 back to the cashier so she can give me the correct change. She hands me my money and food, but I couldn’t resist getting the last word in before driving off.)

Me: “I love making people feel stupid.”

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It’s Not Easy Being Green

, | Right | February 1, 2013

(I’m taking orders and cashing cars at a well known fast food chain drive-thru. I’m having a really bad day. It’s the holidays, and in general all of the customers are being really rude and indecisive, while I’m still trying to be polite and smile. An old man has just placed his order and is approaching my window. I’m a female with green eyes.)

Me: *giving the best smile I can manage* “Hi, sir! How are you today?”

Old man: “Oh, my goodness! You’re just as beautiful as your voice sounds!”

Me: *blushes* “Th-Thank you, sir.”

(I finish cashing him and I hand out his change.)

Old man: “And your eyes are so green! They’re beautiful! Have a lovely afternoon Sweetheart!”

Me: “You too, sir! Thank you!”

(The nice old man drives off. He made my day! It’s people like him that give me faith in humanity.)

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Not Ever Working, Part 12

| Working | January 31, 2013

(I’m out with two of my friends celebrating Friend #1’s birthday. When we arrive at the restaurant, there are three other tables filled. We wait 10 minutes to be seated.)

Waitress: “Drinks?”

Friend #1: “I’ll have a rum and coke.”

Friend #2: “Me too!”

Me: “I’m driving, so just a coke is good, thanks.”

(The waitress leaves and we chat for a bit, and after 20 minutes we start looking around for our waitress. We spot her sitting behind the bar playing on her phone and finally manage to wave her over.)

Waitress: “What?”

Friend #2: “Could we get our drinks, please?”

Waitress: “GOD, you’re so impatient! These things take time, you know!”

(She then storms off before we can tell her we’d like to order. At this point we’re getting irritated but decide to have Friend #1 open her presents. After another 15 minutes of being ignored, we have decided it’s time to give up and go elsewhere. As we’re getting up to leave, the waitress comes back.)

Waitress: “So what, you’re not eating?”

Friend #2: *jaw drops*

Friend #1: “You’re kidding, right?!”

Me: “We were ready to eat 45 minutes ago, but you’ve been avoiding our table all evening, so now we’re leaving.”

Waitress: “Well… I’m the only one here! What am I supposed to do?”

Me: “I dunno, maybe do your job and make sure the couple of tables you have are served?”

Waitress: “Wait! You can’t leave! You have to pay for your drinks!”

Friend #1: “You mean our invisible, imaginary drinks we never got? Yeah, screw you.”

(We ended up going elsewhere where the service was MUCH better. Friend #1 ended up having a really good time for her birthday, but all three of us made sure to call in the next morning to report our experience the prior evening. Never saw that waitress there again.)


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An Extra Shot Of Irony

, , , | Right | January 31, 2013

(I am at a New Year’s Eve party.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yes, I need to replace someone’s drink. I accidentally spilt it.”

(As it is only a small drink, I gave it to him without charge.)

Customer #2: *to me* “How much of an idiot do you have to be to spill someone’s drink?!”

([Customer#2] orders various drinks, but there are two expensive bottles of wine and mixer drinks with at least three shots of various spirits in.)

Me: “All together that will be £50.”

Customer #2: “No problem, but seriously, can you imagine if I was as stupid as him and spilled these!”

([Customer #2] turns with tray of drinks to return to his friends. As he does, he drops the entire tray, smashing the wine bottles and the other drinks all over the floor.)

Customer #2: “I guess I deserved that. Don’t suppose I could have free replacements?”

(The guy bought another round, as well as two more drinks, one for me and one for the guy he had been joking about.)

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Not Making The Cut

| Working | January 29, 2013

(At the ice cream shop where I work, we just hired a new employee who isn’t quite working out. The following happens while closing one night.)

Me: “Hey, [employee’s name], would you be able to fill the sprinkles quick? I’m really busy taking down this machine.”

Employee: “Nope.”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Employee: “I can’t fill the sprinkles.”

Me: “And… why not?”

Employee: “There isn’t a box open.”

Me: “So… open a new box?”

Employee: “I can’t open another box.”

Me: “Why not?”

Employee: “I don’t know how.”

Me: “You could just rip the tape off the top.”

Employee: “I just got my nails done!”

Me: “Well, then use a box cutter!”

Employee: “What for?”

Me: “To cut… the box.”

Employee: “Oh… where is the box cutter?”

Me: “On the shelf by the hamburger buns.”

Employee: “Where are they?”

Me: “On the counter right by the grill. You can’t miss it.”

Employee: “Oh.” *leaves, comes back two seconds later* “What buns?”

Me: “The. Hamburger. Buns. By the grill.”

Employee: “Buns? What do you need those for?”


Employee: “Oh, right. Wait…what’s a box cutter again? Like, what does it look like?”

Me: “It looks like a small, sharp tool… used to CUT BOXES!”

Employee: “Oh, okay!” *leaves, returns with box cutter* “Now what am I supposed to do with this?”

Me: *facepalm*

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