(There is a girl at my school who seems to think that I am ‘sooo cute’. We are working quietly in a lesson when she talks to me out of the blue.)
Girl: “Awwww, you’re just so cute! Don’t you just want to gobble yourself up sometimes?”
Me: “Umm… no?”
(It’s exam time, and my best friend and I are comparing study timetables. I notice that next to all of the study breaks on her timetable she’s written either ‘I’ or ‘N’.)
Me: “What do the ‘I’ and ‘N’ mean?”
Friend: “Oh, they stand for ‘inside’ and ‘not inside’.”
Me: “But isn’t ‘not inside’ the same as outside?”
Friend: *looks at me and blinks* “That never occurred to me.”
Related:
Not Thinking Inside The Box, Part 2
Not Thinking Inside The Box
Me: “How was the parent-teacher conferences, Dad?”
Dad: “Er. Good. I, um, I met your math teacher.”
Me: “Oh, Mr. [Name]. Yeah, he’s a good teacher.”
Dad: “Oh, good. He’s a little on the young side, isn’t he?”
Me: “I think he’s in his late twenties… Dad? What did you say to him?”
Dad: “Well, he was wearing jeans and you must admit he does look very young…”
Me: “Dad! What did you say to my math teacher?!”
Dad: “I didn’t know he was a teacher! I thought he was a student, so I told him to pull his pants up and put his skateboard away!”
This story is part of our Parent-Teacher-Conference Roundup!
Read the next Parent-Teacher-Conference Roundup story!
Read the Parent-Teacher-Conference Roundup!
(My friend and I are in biology class, texting each other. We’re reviewing electrophoresis, a process that’s used to separate DNA fragments. It was also an answer to a question on one of our tests that I completely forgot while I was writing it.)
Friend: “‘Electropho-I-don’t-know’…”
Me: “I believe what I wrote on the test was ‘electrosomething? How did I forget this? I’m so sorry’.”
Friend: “But electropho-I-don’t-know rhymes, though.”
Me: “We’re not writing slam poetry. It’s bio.”
(He doesn’t respond for a minute or two, and I look over to his desk to see him typing something long.)
Me: “Are you writing a slam poem? Because I swear to god—”
Friend: “Electropho-I don’t know. The smaller ones go fast, while larger goes slow. Why does it do that? I still don’t know. Bio is memorization. It ain’t a huge organization. You got primase, ligase, and polymerase. You just gotta know what the DNA wants to do those days…”
Me: “I cannot believe you…”
This story is part of our Poetry roundup!
(For as long as I can remember I’ve been a Trekkie. I am in high school when ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ is in its final season. The day after the final episode, I’m approached by the school bully. I brace myself for his usual barrage of insults.)
Bully: “Hey, it’s the big fat Trekkie. Let me guess, you watched the final episode last night.”
Me: “Of course I did.”
Bully: “And because you’re such a HUGE Trekkie, I’m guessing you taped it so you can watch it over and over again.”
Me: “Yeah. So?”
(He looks around to make sure none of his clique are within earshot, and then leans in close.)
Bully: “Dude. I missed it. Can I borrow it?”
Me: “What?”
Bully: “Yeah, man. I love that show but I was doing other stuff last night. So, please, help a Trekkie out. Can I borrow it?”
Me: “After everything you’ve done to me? No way!”
(Sadness washes over his face as regains his bully composure.)
Bully: “Whatever, man. Star Trek’s stupid anyway.”
(I swear I heard him sniffle a little bit as he walked away.)
This story is part of our ‘Star Trek’ roundup!
Read the next ‘Star Trek’ roundup story!
Read the ‘Star Trek’ roundup!
