Screwed If You Do, Scrooged If You Don’t

I’ve worked ten jobs, ranging from food service to customer service to office work to retail. I can tell you with certainty that the best part about all of them was gossiping with coworkers about unruly customers.

I’d recently moved back into my hometown and was visiting the local supermarket, when I ran into a few ex-coworkers on break and went over to catch up. It turns out that one of them, who was normally really in the holiday spirit, was a bit down from getting yelled at by every third customer, “It’s ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS!’” or, “It’s ‘HAPPY HOLIDAYS!’” when she was just trying to be nice and cheerful.

She asked me if I had gone through the same thing working customer service in the Bible belt, as I’m not a Christian, and I couldn’t help but grin.

“No, see, I always told them. ‘Happy Holidays,’ and if anyone got snippy with me about saying, ‘Merry Christmas,’ I just tilted my head, looked genuinely confused, and said, ‘Wait, Christmas and New Year’s aren’t holidays?’ Stopped ‘em stupid.”

I found out later that the other coworker who was there tried it out later that day, and it worked for them, too! Who knew?