Rushing Into Irony

(I am consistently one of the fastest cashiers, as the store tracks our scanning speeds. During a very busy Sunday afternoon the lines at the registers are long and I am checking customers out very quickly to try and get the lines down. A customer waiting in my line gets my attention.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me!  EXCUSE ME?!”

Me: *as I am quickly working on scanning the current customer’s groceries* “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer #1: “Can you hurry up?! I am in a rush here!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am! I am going as quickly as I can. I will be with you in just a moment.”

(I finish up with the customers in front of her and now it is her turn.)

Customer #1: *very rudely* “Make it quick, I have to get going!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.” *I scan her groceries as fast as I possibly can while she stands there watching me* “Okay, ma’am, your total today is [total].”

(At this point she sets her purse up on the counter and begins searching through it. Eventually she pulls out her checkbook and begins to write a check. She could have been filling out the check while I was scanning and bagging her groceries if she was in such a hurry. At this point her groceries are all bagged and ready and we are waiting on her as she SLOWLY fills out her personal check. It takes her longer to write the check than it took me to scan and bag her entire order. Finally she hands me the check.)

Me: *I process the payment; it goes through* “Thank you, ma’am. You have a good day!”

(As the lines are still long I immediately begin scanning the next customer’s groceries. The customer who was in a rush is still standing in the same location now writing in her checkbook, I assume balancing it. She takes so long to do so I have now scanned, bagged, and finished checking out the customer behind her. However, as it is busy and the registers are very close together, [Customer #2] is now waiting on the first customer to move out of the way so she can get her items and leave. I begin scanning yet the next customer’s groceries. As I am scanning….)

Customer #2: *patiently waits a few moments but clearly wants to get by [Customer #1] and leave* “Excuse me?”

Customer #1: *ignores her, continues to write in her checkbook*

([Customer #2] waits a few more moments and is getting more impatient to get by and leave. By this time I am just about done with [Customer #3].)

Customer #2: “EXCUSE ME?!”

Customer #1: *finally looks up* “WHAT?!”

Customer #2: “Can you move out of the way so we can get by?!”

Customer #1: *very angry and flustered* “FINE! Why is everyone always in such a d*** rush?!”

([Customer #3] and I looked at each other and started laughing as he had seen and heard all of this too. [Customer #1] gave us dirty looks and finally left, allowing [Customer #2] to get by.)