Not The Way To Solve The Muzzle Puzzle

Customer: “Do you have anything for dogs that chew?”

Me: “We sure do! I can show you some of the sprays we have; you can spritz them on anything you don’t want the dog to chew on. There are a few different brands you can try—”

Customer: “I’m not looking for a spray. Do you have something like a pill?”

Me: *befuddled* “A pill?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “No, sir. There’s no pill that will stop a dog from chewing things. That’s what dogs do.”

Customer: “Then how about a muzzle?”

Me: *alarmed* “No, sir, you don’t want a muzzle. Those are to keep violent dogs from biting, not to stop a dog from chewing. You don’t want to keep a muzzle on all day. You can only have them on about forty-five minutes.”

Customer: *smiling* “I’m all right with that!”

Me: “…Forty-five minutes a DAY, sir.”

Customer: “That’s fine!”

Me: “Sir, a muzzle isn’t a teaching tool. Your dog won’t understand why you’re putting it on him. He won’t learn anything, and it won’t solve the problem.”

Customer: “Can you show me where they are, anyway?”

Me: “You know what, sir? Let me get you my dog trainer.”

Customer: *looking relieved, as if he expects the trainer to agree with him* “Okay, go ahead!”

(I hunted down my dog trainer and told her to switch customers with me. When I explained the situation, the color visibly drained from her face, and she rushed off to hunt him down. I found out later that she told him a muzzle would only make the problem worse. He said that if the chewing didn’t stop, he’d get rid of the dog. The customer had a toddler with him. In hindsight, since he thought a muzzle would keep a dog from chewing, I should have asked him if he put duct tape on his baby’s mouth to stop her from crying.)