Raw Customer Service

My coworker has a table of three that places a dine-in order. About five minutes before their food comes out, a fourth man joins them and orders a pizza. I bring out the other customers’ food, and as I set them down, I turn to the man to let him know his food will be out in just a few. Before I can open my mouth, he crosses his arms and scowls at me.

Customer #4: *Sternly* “And where’s my food?

Me: “It’ll be out in just a few minutes. Your pizza is in the oven.”

Customer#4: *Whining* “But I’m hungry now!“

Caught off guard by this grown man whimpering like a toddler, I respond with the only thing I can think of to say:

Me: “Well, do you want it raw?”

The others at the table smirk and the man flashes a grin. When I get back up to the register, I let my coworker know about the conversation.

Coworker: “Him? Yeah, he’s got a really odd sense of humor, and he usually comes off as a d**k. Great response, though!”

As the table leaves, the man tips his server, my coworker, and then comes up to me.

Customer #4: *Smiling* “I like you. Next time, I want to sit in your section!”

Well, okay, I guess.