Pizza Man And Pizza Dude And A Bizarre Undertaking

About a year ago, I was delivering for a pizza place, and I had to deliver about twenty pizzas for a last-minute order during a football night in town.

I was already annoyed because they made me help make it even though we had plenty of people in the kitchen and three other deliveries that needed to be taken, as well. I knew my way around the kitchen but had no clue how to portion properly because, you know, Not My Job. But I guess I made the five specialty ones wrong, and they had to be remade, which was another twenty minutes because we were very busy.

Well, those twenty minutes turned into almost two hours because I “was needed here”. Okay. Don’t blame me when we get angry calls.

After a bit, I was finally free to do my actual job and deliver the pizzas. After all this hassle and my stressing about angry people, I saw a whopping three-dollar tip on the ticket and a twenty-minute drive on my phone. Needless to say, I used some fun words on the road that day.

One twenty-minute drive later, I pulled up to a house with about eight cars parked in the already small driveway and in the yard. As I was carrying the first of two large bags to the door, suddenly, a wild Fratboy popped up from a truck bed — similar to how the WWE wrestler Undertaker would sometimes get up if that helps anyone visualise. Undertaker got up, hopped out very excitedly, and walked up to me.

Undertaker: “I’ll help!”

In hindsight, letting a clearly drunk man carry ten pizzas fifty feet wasn’t a good idea, but $3 doesn’t get my full effort.

I went to my car, grabbed the second bag and the receipt to get the company-mandated signature, and headed up. Who answered the door?

That’s right: ANOTHER COMPANY’S DRIVER. We shared a glance before he helped me set my pizzas up in the kitchen area. Undertaker came in.

Undertaker: “Pizza man and pizza dude!”

He was followed by about thirty people who basically just kept tipping us like it was a cover charge to a bar.

Pizza Man and I went our separate ways with free drinks and a good amount of cash as a prize.

I still think about Fratboy Undertaker sometimes!