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Flea To The Devil

| Right | September 22, 2015

(I am an assistant manager of an extremely popular supermarket. A middle-aged woman stops me as I pass the pet department.)

Customer: “Hey! You! I need some help.”

Me: “Sure thing, ma’am. I’m off the clock right now but I’ll see what I can do.”

Customer: “Tell me if this will work on puppies.” *thrusts box of flea medicine at my chest*

Me: “Well, it depends on the weight and age of the puppies. What breed are they?”

Customer: “Oh, my god! I don’t know! Some mutt my daughter found! I made her put it in the shed and it had puppies!”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. How old are they?”

Customer: “Three days.”

Me: “Wait, come again?”

Customer: “Are you deaf?! I said three days!”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t put flea medicine, especially medicine for a dog ten pounds or heavier, on a puppy that’s three days old.”

Customer: “And why the h*** not!? I don’t want them getting fleas. Then they’d be all over my shed!”

Me: “Wait, they don’t even have fleas?”

Customer: “NO! You’re such an idiot!” *grabs the box back from him* “They’re at my house and I’ll put whatever I want on them!”

Me: *somewhat frantically* “Ma’am, they’ll die.”

Customer: “GOOD! I want those f****** ugly dogs dead! Those mutt, mix-breed dogs are a sin and will go to Hell! I have a purebred Yorkshire Terrier and can’t risk having fleas in MY shed! I’m calling corporate about you trying to tell me what to do!”

(She then grabbed a second box and stormed out of the aisle, shouting about “mix-breeds are the devil’s work.”)

Be Christian Or Have The Devil To Pay

| Right | August 11, 2015

(I’m a cashier at a large supermarket. There are small charity donation tins at each register; upon receiving their change, customers often deposit their change in these tins.)

Me: “Okay, so your total is $28.40. How will you be paying today?”

Customer: “Cash.” *hands me $30*

Me: “Here’s your $1.60 change. Thank you, and have a nice day!”

Customer: “Wait. You aren’t one of those Satanists, are you?”

Me: “Umm… no? Why?”

Customer: “Good, I just wanted to be sure before donating.”

(The customer puts the change in the charity tin, smiling smugly and dripping with pomp. I feel somewhat unimpressed that this person was going to choose whether to donate or not based purely on my religious preferences rather than out of any kind of human decency or concern for the charity in question.)

Me: “Of course, I’m not a Christian either.” *waving cheerily as the customer backs away in horror and disgust* “Have a lovely day!”

Unfiltered Story #310617

| Unfiltered | December 2, 2023

3 Friends and I are playing a board game online. We all have a hero with roles to do, (damage, support, healer etc). We are surviving but, got really roughed up and we need healing. My female friend is playing the main healer.

me: Okay Female friend, we need healing when it is your turn next. We are all super hurt right now.

Female friend: I got this. Don’t worry, I have the cards to allow me to heal.
Me: Unless on the start of your turn you draw the “cannot heal” villian card. Then we are completely dead.

Female friend: Don’t worry, the odds of me getting one is sl—-
*as she plays the top villian card, it flat out says “heroes cannot heal this turn. You can feel her heart pop out of her chest, drop to the floor, roll down the hill toward the ocean, and straight into its depths. There is complete silence for a few seconds until I let out an evil laugh.*

me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Girly! I’m kidding, that card was played 2 turns ago remember? I placed it back on top when nobody was looking.

Female friend: That was PURE EVIL!

ME: I felt your heart dropped!!

friend 1: I felt that too, that was a new level of evil on your part.

friend 2: I agree, but that was funny as hell.

female friend: I am not going to heal you anymore….

Me: WORTH IT! I have tears coming out my eyes right now.

Unfiltered Story #108925

, | Unfiltered | April 12, 2018

(I work retail, and always tell my mom about all the crazy experiences I’ve had with customers, and about some of the ones I’ve read on this site. She doesn’t always believe that some of these things ACTUALLY happen and people can be that astoundingly stupid, rude or incorrigible. Though this past weekend she experienced the following exchange so extreme that she apologized profusely for not believing me. My younger sister, about 17, has mental health issues and has been treated in a residential facility in Nevada for about 5 months before being transferred to one in our state 2 months ago so we can see her more often; she is receiving much better care. Her left arm is covered almost completely covered in scar tissue as a complication of her disorder. Many people give her nasty looks on the regular and some people go as far as to make rude comments to her about it. On good days she is confident enough to wear short sleeves and handles criticism very well, though she may not see that she does. As is the case this day. She has just recently been moved up to a level in which she receives passes to leave the facility with family for a few hours, and on this day my parents and my two brothers, one 19 and one 7, take her to the mall to go shopping and stop by the food court to eat. My sister and my oldest brother are at one fast food counter while my mom, my dad and my youngest brother are at another still waiting on food. The mall is packed and it’s really hard for my siblings to try to find a table for the whole family. They spot a man leaving and walk over and set their trays down as a woman and her young child approach my sister.)

Woman: (to my sister) F****** b****.

Sister: Excuse me?

Woman: I bet you feel real good about taking a table away from a child, you useless c***. (gesturing to her young child)

Sister: I’m sorry but the table was empty and we are waiting for our parents and our brother, who is also a child.

Woman: (condescendingly) Oh, I bet you are you f****** lying b****. Lying to steal a table away from a mother and her child. I can’t f***** believe this.

Sister: I’m sorry but should you really be using that kind of language in front of your son?

Woman: Oh, so you’re going to tell me how to f****** parent now? What are you, 15? Though I’d believe it if you had a kid, you look like a s***.

Sister: I’m sorry about whatever I did to bother you, but I only have a few hours left with my family for the day before I have to go back to the hospital, so if you don’t mind I would appreciate it of you left us alone to have lunch in peace.

Woman: Hospital? Yeah you look f****** crazy, CRAZY. I bet you belong there what with all that nasty s*** on your arms, you good for nothing piece of s***, f****** b****. I hope you rot in that f****** hospital.

(At this point she spits at my sister and stomps away. My sister, near tears, tells my mom about what happened and pointing out the woman who had almost immediately found another empty table a few yards away. After she finishes eating, my mom, who is usually not a confrontational person (she is almost too kind-hearted for her own good), but very protective of us – especially my sister, gets up and goes to approach this woman.)

Mom: Excuse me, I would like to have a word with you as you seemed to take as many words as you wanted with my daughter.

(The woman slowly turns around and looks my mom square in the face, my mom told me later had she seen the look of almost pure evil in this woman’s eyes ahead of time she probably would not have bothered.)

Woman: (slowly and deliberately) Your daughter. Is a f******. B****. I hope she chews her food. Chokes on it. And f****** dies. And I hope she rots in hell. I hope she chokes and f****** dies before she makes it back to that hospital because I’ll be d***** if I’m paying my taxes to keep your b**** daughter alive a second longer.

Mom: I’m sorry you feel that way, but you have no right to speak to her, or myself that way. I am embarrassed for you and the way you conduct yourself around other people. There is absolutely no reason to behave the way you are as a grown woman.

Woman: (even slower) Your daughter is f****** crazy. She said it herself (makes spinning motion with her finger by her temple) CRAAAAZZZYYYYY. Crazy. F******* crazy. And I bet you are too. Like I said, I hope she chews on her food, chokes on it, and f****** dies. F****** b****. Both of you.

(At this point my mom realizes there is absolutely no progress to be made here and she’s feeling like if she doesn’t walk away she might slap this woman into next week and cause more problems than this woman is worth. She just walks away. After she tells me this story she promises to never doubt me or any customer service story she hears ever again.)

You Look Nothing Like Your Ad

, , , | Right | January 13, 2009

(A family group was checking in – one lady in the group started telling me about her husband’s recent death from cancer.)

Customer: “…and he was all eaten up with colon cancer, and he just died.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that is really not any of my business. It seems like a very private matter….”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “I’m not comfortable hearing–”

Customer: “Are you a Christian?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “I knew it! You are evil and will burn in Hell. I’ll speak to your manager in the morning!”

Me: “Okay. That’s fine.”

Customer: “I hope you liked your former job.”

Me: “…”

(The group went to their rooms. A few minutes later, one of the adult daughters came to the desk.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer’s Daughter: “I just came down because I wanted to see what pure evil looks like.”

Me: “…”